Only Hope
by twstofate
Summary: When tragedy befalls Matt Hardy and Team Xtreme, Lita is comforted by someone unexpected. FINISHED!
1. Default Chapter

Title: "Only Hope" (1/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
  
  
He'd always been a sucker for crying women. It didn't matter if they were strangers on the street or his mother, when he saw women crying he had to comfort them. He would stay with them, ask them how he could help, and do whatever within his power he could to help out.  
  
How well would that mesh with the selfish, egotistical attitude he exuded?  
  
He knew from the shaking shoulders that the woman wrapped in a ball on the floor of the hallway with her head in her hands were crying. He knew from how she was behind the sound equipment cases that she had been hiding so no one could see her tears. He had only seen her because he got sick of listening to Jericho go on and on about how wonderful he was and he went to find somewhere else to warm up for his match. He knew from the red hair that the crying woman was Lita.  
  
Lita hated him. She had made it abundantly clear on numerous occasions that she didn't care for him at all. Even when he had been the one leading the WWF against the Alliance, she hadn't trusted him.   
  
But she was crying.  
  
"Lita?" he asked softly, not daring to crouch next to the sobbing Diva.  
  
"What?" she asked, not bothering to look up to see who was talking to her.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked.   
  
"I'm fine," Lita said, her voice thin and strained. She didn't convince him for a second.  
  
"What's wrong Lita?" he asked, this time making his voice firm.   
  
She looked up at him and her brown eyes widened with shock. "What do you care Kurt Angle? You'll probably just go run and tell my former friend Chris Jericho so he has more ammo to make sun of me."  
  
"I wouldn't do that," Kurt said. He decided to throw caution to the wind and he kneeled next to her. "Do you want me to go get Matt or Jeff?"  
  
"No!" Lita exclaimed. "And you can't tell them I was crying. It would hurt them and they don't deserve to hurt anymore."  
  
"I would venture to guess that you don't deserve to hurt either," Kurt said.  
  
"Why are you being nice to me?" Lita asked, her eyes suddenly becoming wary.  
  
"Call it a soft spot for damsels in distress," Kurt shrugged. "Do you want to talk about it? I promise not to tell anyone about anything you say. I'll even pledge Scout's honor."  
  
Lita chuckled to herself momentarily. "You sure you don't mind?"  
  
"Why would I mind?" Kurt asked. "Do you mind if I sit next to you?"  
  
"Of course not," Lita said, patting the cement next to her. "You really sure you want to listen to my sob story?"  
  
"Yeah," Kurt said, taking a strand of her red hair that had fallen into her face. He tucked it gently behind her ear.  
  
"Well, you remember how Matt went after Taker after what he did to Jeff and I?" Lita asked. When Kurt nodded she went on with her story. "Well, Taker put him in the hospital and something seemed wrong to the doctors. Jeff and I were at his side anyways, because he made it obvious that he cared about us. We were completely reconciled and Matt and I had decided to give our relationship another chance.  
  
"That's when the doctors told us the results of some extra tests that they had run on Matt," Lita continued. "It looked like Matt had a tumor in his brain. They went in and found out it was malignant and had already passed into his bones."  
  
"But he's so healthy!" Kurt protested.  
  
"That's what we all said," Lita said miserably. "The doctors said if he hadn't been so healthy he would have known a lot earlier something was wrong. Now there's nothing that they can do."  
  
"What are you saying Lita?" Kurt asked, fear filling his blue eyes.  
  
"He's dying Kurt," Lita said. "I know everyone was told that we were suspended, but we told Vince what was going on and he gave us some time to decide what we wanted to do."  
  
"Why's Matt back?" Kurt asked, not noticing that sometime while Lita had been telling her story that he had wrapped an arm around her.  
  
"He wants to wrestle for as long as he can," Lita said. "He loves wrestling. The doctors said a month, maybe more before he has to stop completely. Then they will put him on morphine until..."  
  
"God Lita," Kurt said, squeezing her comfortingly. "No wonder you were crying. You don't need to pretend like this doesn't hurt."  
  
"But I have to be a rock for Matt and Jeff," Lita said. "I have to stay strong for them. It took everything I had to convince Jeff to come back for Matt. He knew Matt would never come back without him. I can't let them see that I'm falling apart here."  
  
"I guess," Kurt said. "I respect you a lot for trying to stay strong for them."  
  
Lita looked into his blue eyes and noted the open, honest look in them. "Thanks Kurt."  
  
"You don't need to thank me," Kurt shrugged. "Is there anything I can do for you?"  
  
"No, you've done more than enough sitting here and listening to me," Lita said. "But do you think you could be nicer to Matt and Jeff now? I mean, don't let them know that you know, but don't torture them."  
  
"Yeah, of course," Kurt said. "And I want you to know that I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on. I don't ever want to find you behind equipment cases sobbing again. It isn't healthy."  
  
"Thanks Kurt," Lita said, wiping the tears off of her face.   
  
"There's a restroom around the corner if you want to wash your face before you go back to your dressing room," Kurt offered.  
  
"Thanks," Lita said. "What were you doing out here anyways?"  
  
"Getting away from Y2Jerk," Kurt said. He sighed as he said; "now I have to go face the Princess. She won't be too happy that I lost to her ex."  
  
"Lucky you," Lita said. She impulsively leaned over and kissed Kurt lightly on the cheek. "Let no good deed go unpunished."  
  
Kurt watched as Lita walked away from him. He had no idea how she had the strength to cope with the pain she had to be feeling. But he respected her more than he respected any other woman in his life. 


	2. Chapter Two

Title: "Only Hope" (2/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
  
RAW 2/25/2001  
  
"That was a great match!" Matt exclaimed as he walked to the backstage area with Lita and Jeff.  
  
"It was pretty fun," Jeff said, grinning at his older brother. Jeff looked over at Lita and realized the redhead was looking at Matt with concern written all over her face. "And that moonsault Lita laid on Buh-Buh Ray was awesome."  
  
"Thanks," Lita said, smiling at her friend. "I'm thinking we all deserve Denny's tonight. I could definitely use a pancake slam."  
  
"Sounds good to me," Matt agreed. "Let's just change and we can leave during the main event."  
  
"All right," Lita agreed. She slipped her hand into the crook of Matt's arm. Now that she knew her time with Matt was limited; she wanted to stay as close to him as she could.  
  
"You guys will not believe what just happened," Edge exclaimed as he pushed Team Xtreme into the nearest locker room. "They should be showing a replay in just a sec."  
  
"What's up?" Jeff asked. Edge turned on the monitor in the room and said nothing.  
  
"Holy crap!" Matt exclaimed as he watched Kurt Angle, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Kane attack Hollywood Hogan, Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall with steel chairs.  
  
"Think about this the next time you decide you want to take someone on three-on-one," Austin said, kicking Nash in the ribs for good measure.  
  
"Didn't Kurt send Austin to jail last week?" Jeff asked.  
  
"It turns out Kurt hadn't actually seen what had happened to The Rock on RAW last week and when he found out he went and paid Austin's bail," Edge said. "He and Austin had been planning this ever since."  
  
"Why didn't they do this on SmackDown?" Matt asked.  
  
"They wanted the nWo to feel real comfortable," a voice said from the door. Matt, Jeff, Lita, and Edge turned to see Austin leaning against the doorframe, beer in hand. His grin couldn't have been bigger.  
  
Lita instinctively shied away from the door. Austin may have miraculously undergone a personality transplant after Survivor Series but he had attacked her and the Hardys twice, and both times had been brutal.  
  
Austin noticed and said, "Lita, I hope you don't hold the past against Stone Cold, but I understand if you feel like you have to."  
  
"No, no," Lita said, trying to feel a little comfortable. "It will just take a while."  
  
"So Kurt bailed you out of jail?" Jeff asked, trying to ease some of the tension.  
  
"Yeah," Austin nodded. "The sumbitch showed up and talked about bygones being bygones. He said he didn't care if he had to turn on Vince and Stephanie."  
  
"Wow," Matt said. "I wouldn't expect that from him."  
  
"He's been a good guy before," Lita said, lightly nudging her boyfriend in his ribs. "You've even tagged in a couple of matches with him."  
  
"Speak of the devil," Austin said, pulling Kurt into the locker room as he passed. "These folks here are wondering about your change in personality."  
  
"Oh, hey," Kurt said, looking around the locker room. Lita could've sworn she saw a light blush on his cheeks. "You just don't do that stuff to people."  
  
"Did you give him a beer yet Austin?" Matt asked.  
  
"I only had one handy," Austin said. "But when we tag later tonight against Hall and Nash I'll make sure the cooler is shocked."  
  
"Who's accompanying you guys to the ring?" Lita asked. "Because we all know that Hogan won't stay out of that."  
  
"I am," Matt said suddenly.  
  
Kurt and Austin looked at the older Hardy boy in shock. Kurt slowly nodded, knowing that Matt probably thought it was important.  
  
"Matt," Lita said, "you've been in a match tonight."  
  
"I'll be fine Leet," Matt said, lightly tugging on Lita's long red hair. "I want to do this."  
  
"I've never stopped you from doing whatever you want before," Lita said, taking Matt's hand in her own. "Why would I start now?"  
  
"Thanks," Matt said.  
  
"Well, we'll drop by to let you know when we're heading towards the ring," Austin said.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt seconded. "Later."  
  
"Bye," Lita called after the two men.  
  
"You sure you want to do this man?" Jeff asked his brother. "Hogan may be ancient but he still has a vicious streak in him."  
  
"Jeff," Matt sighed. "Please don't guilt trip me."  
  
"What's going on here?" Edge asked, not understanding the conversation at all.  
  
"Nothing," Lita said quickly. "Jeff is just worried about us getting back into the think of things so soon. We don't really need to piss off Vince again."  
  
"Okay, well," Edge said, heading to the door. "I'll see you guys around."  
  
"Bye Edge," Jeff said for the group. After the door was securely closed behind Edge he turned to Matt and said, "We aren't going to be able to keep this a secret forever Matt."  
  
"I know that Jeff," Matt sighed. "I need to do something important with the time I have left here Jeff. Killing the nWo would be important."  
  
"But Matt," Jeff protested. He stopped when Lita laid a gentle hand on his arm.  
  
"We understand Matt," Lita said, looking at her boyfriend with eyes filled with love. "We may not like it, but we understand."  
  
"Thank you," Matt said. He leaned over and kissed Lita lightly on the lips. "I love you more for that."  
  
"Well, you're going to need to re-tape your wrists for the main event," Jeff said, finally letting Matt have his way.  
  
"Thanks," Matt said, hugging Jeff before he left the locker room to go to their own locker room. Jeff turned to Lita in time to see her bottom lip tremble.  
  
"Oh Lita," Jeff said, gathering her into his arms for a hug. "Don't cry Lita girl."  
  
"I can't help it," Lita said, clinging to her friend. "What if something happens to him out there? A chair shot to the head can't be good for him. But I can't hold him back from what he wants to do."  
  
"I know," Jeff said.   
  
"I love him so much," Lita said, still hugging Jeff. "But I feel like I'm always getting ready to say goodbye to him."  
  
"I understand completely," Jeff said miserably. "I can't even tell Trish because Matt asked that no one know."  
  
Lita felt a momentary pang of guilt because Jeff had no one he could share his pain with and she had already told Kurt. "You can lean on me."  
  
"Thanks," Jeff said. "But I feel bad hiding stuff from my girlfriend. After all of the shit we did to each other when she got back to the WWF I don't exactly need to screw it up again."  
  
"Let me talk to Matt about it," Lita said. "You need someone you can talk to who isn't a part of it all."  
  
"It's okay," Jeff shrugged.  
  
"No, it's not," Lita said. "It isn't fair to you."  
  
"Thanks Lita," Jeff said.   
  
"Sure," Lita said. "Can you tell Matt I'll be around before his match but I need to go find something to eat real quick."  
  
"Okay," Jeff said, nudging Lita to the door.  
  
Lita walked to the cafeteria that the WWF set up for the wrestlers at every event. Normally there were sandwiches and water at the very least. Her eyes immediately went to the solitary figure in the corner sipping on a glass of milk. Lita went and grabbed a sandwich and soda and walked toward Kurt's table.  
  
"Mind if I sit?" she asked.  
  
Kurt's popped up and he smiled at the redhead. "Go right ahead."  
  
"Thanks," Lita said. "You did a good thing Kurt."  
  
"What? Getting Austin out of jail?" Kurt asked. "I never should have put him there in the first place."  
  
"Granted," Lita said. "But you fixed it."  
  
"Thanks," Kurt said. "How are you doing?"  
  
"I'm better, thanks," Lita said, nodding her head. "Thanks for the other day by the way."  
  
"You don't need to keep thanking me," Kurt said. "It was my pleasure. Well, not pleasure exactly. Let's just say I was glad I could help."  
  
"Okay," Lita said. She began to eat her sandwich.  
  
"Something bothering you Lita?" Kurt asked after a few moments of silence.  
  
"I was just going to ask if you could maybe..."  
  
"You want me to watch out for Matt?" Kurt asked.  
  
"But I don't want you to be distracted from your match," Lita said. "I mean Jeff and I will be watching on the gorilla so we will be able to come out if we're needed."  
  
"I'll look out for him," Kurt promised.  
  
"Thanks," Lita said gratefully.  
  
"I would have done it anyway," Kurt said.   
  
"How do you hide that good guy you are so well?" Lita asked.  
  
"I had to practice," Kurt said. "Sometimes it's hard."  
  
"Well, I'm sure I will see you before your match," Lita said, standing up. "But good luck Kurt. I hope you do a number on those bastards."  
  
"I'll try," Kurt said.  
  
"What are you doing talking to her?" a high-pitched voice whined.   
  
"I'm leaving Stephanie," Lita sighed, picking up her trash. "I'll see you later Kurt."  
  
"No," Kurt said, getting up with Lita, completely ignoring Stephanie. "I'll walk you back to your room. I think Austin is next door to you anyways."  
  
"Kurt!" Stephanie exclaimed.  
  
"What?" Kurt sighed. He made it abundantly clear that he did not want to talk to her.  
  
"Nothing," Stephanie said, able to hide the shock in her voice that Kurt would rather take Lita back to her boyfriend than talk with her.  
  
"That's what I thought," Kurt mumbled. 


	3. Chapter Three

Title: "Only Hope" (3/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
  
  
"What the hell was that?" Jeff asked in stunned disbelief.   
  
"I don't know," Lita said, shaking her head in shock. "But I think we had better get out there before they hurt your brother."  
  
Lita and Jeff raced down the ramp to keep Hogan from going after Matt with a steel chair. The match had been going on without any bumps until Hogan started distracting the ref so Hall and Nash could illegally double team. Matt started getting pissed and he would grab people's feet as they passed. Hogan headed over toward Matt with a steel chair in hand.  
  
Matt had his eye on the action, not Hogan. Kurt, however, was keeping one eye on Hogan at all times which allowed him to step between Matt and the chair shot that was going to connect with Matt's head.  
  
That's when Lita and Jeff decided it was time for a run in. The ref was distracted with reviving Kurt, so Jeff and Matt took advantage of his distraction to lay out Hogan with the ring bell and a few swift kicks to the midsection. They turned back just in time to see Lita nail Nash with a Litacurrana and Austin hit Hall with a Stunner.  
  
Lita slipped out of the ring as the ref slide back in. She and Matt held down Nash as Austin pinned Hall for the victory. Lita quickly went over to Kurt, who was weaving as he stood up.  
  
"That was some shot," Lita said to Kurt as she maneuvered herself under his shoulder so she could support him while he walked.  
  
"I can walk," Kurt said slowly, pulling away from Lita. He walked a couple of steps before he grabbed onto the ring apron. "Maybe not."  
  
"Matt!" Lita called to her boyfriend. He was celebrating with Austin and Jeff in the ring. They were spray-painting obscene words on the backs of the nWo members. "I need some help over here!"  
  
Matt looked over at Lita and quickly slid out of the ring to support Angle on one side as Lita reinserted herself on Angle's other side. They slowly walked to the back with Angle; Austin and Jeff followed behind them.  
  
Lita insisted that they take Kurt to the trainer. "I'm fine," Kurt insisted.  
  
"You can't even walk on your own," Lita pointed out. "How guilty would I feel if I let you walk out of here with a concussion after you saved my boyfriend from a chair shot?"  
  
"Don't feel guilty," Kurt sighed.  
  
"Why did you do it man?" Matt asked.  
  
"Because he was being sneaky," Kurt shrugged. "He didn't have the balls to come at you from the front and I wasn't going to let him attack you from behind."  
  
"Like you've never attacked from behind," Austin chuckled, rather good-naturedly considering his history with Angle.  
  
"This was different somehow," Kurt said slowly. "I just couldn't let it happen."  
  
"Well, I appreciate it," Matt said.   
  
They arrived at the trainer's office and led Kurt to the observation table. "You guys go pack your stuff," Lita said to Matt and Jeff. "I'll stay here with Kurt."  
  
"What about your stuff?" Matt asked.  
  
"I already packed it all up and my bag is in your dressing room," Lita said. "Would you mind picking it up for me?"  
  
"Of course not," Matt said. He leaned over to Lita and their lips met in a soft kiss. "Hang in there Kurt."  
  
"Thanks man," Kurt said. He cringed slightly as the trainer prodded around his head.  
  
"Why did you really do it?" Lita asked Kurt after Matt and Jeff left the room.  
  
"I figured a chair shot to the head was probably the last thing Matt needed," Kurt shrugged. "And my head is hard."  
  
"I'll remember that," Lita chuckled. "You went above and beyond the call of duty today Kurt. I just want you to know I really appreciate it."  
  
"It was no big deal," Kurt sighed.  
  
"It was a big deal to me," Lita said. "And it was a big deal to Matt, though he doesn't know your real motives."  
  
"Well," the trainer said, interrupting Kurt and Lita's conversation. "It looks like you managed to escape with a minor concussion."  
  
"I've had those before," Kurt said jovially.  
  
"Yes, well," the trainer shrugged. "Try not to intentionally step in front of a chair again. Unless it is for another good cause."  
  
"Thanks doc," Kurt said, grinning up at the man.  
  
"You need to not sleep tonight which means I don't want to see you in action tomorrow," the trainer said.  
  
"Alright," Kurt sighed.  
  
"Can you and your friends keep him awake for 24 hours?" the trainer asked, turning towards Lita.  
  
"You don't have to Lita," Kurt said.  
  
"Of course we will," Lita said. "Is your stuff packed yet Kurt?"  
  
"No yet," Kurt said. "I'll just drive myself back to the hotel after I pick it all up."  
  
"Absolutely not," Lita said. "You stay right here and wait for my boys. I will go grab your stuff and I will drive you back in your rental car."  
  
"Lita," Kurt said, trying to dissuade her from going out of her way.  
  
"Let me do this Kurt," Lita said. "You've helped me a lot. Not just tonight but last week too. I really want to show you that I appreciate it."  
  
"Okay," Kurt said, resigned to his fate.  
  
*  
  
"Somewhere over the rainbow!" Jeff sang, incredibly off-key.  
  
"He does this all the time," Lita explained to Kurt. Kurt was propped up on pillows on one of the two beds in the room. Matt and Lita were laying on the other bed. Jeff was laying on his stomach on the ground in between the two beds. They were all watching "The Wizard of Oz."  
  
"Yeah Jeff," Matt said, hitting Jeff with a pillow. "Stop scaring our guest."  
  
"Sorry," Jeff said, grinning at Kurt. "But you already thought I was weird didn't you?"  
  
"Just a little," Kurt admitted.  
  
"Don't worry," Jeff said. "I always thought you were a dork. Now at least you are a cool dork. Y'know?"  
  
"Jeff!" Lita exclaimed in horror.  
  
"I understand completely," Kurt said.  
  
"Cool," Jeff said.  
  
Lita turned to Matt when she felt his head on her shoulder. "Sweetie," she whispered. "Why don't you go to our room and go to sleep?"  
  
"I'm fine," Matt protested.  
  
"Please baby," Lita said, looking into his tired eyes. "I really need you to conserve your strength."  
  
"Okay," Matt said, nodding his head. Lita leaned over and kiss him deeply. "Come wake me up if either you or Jeff get tired."  
  
"I will," Lita promised.  
  
"Night Kurt," Matt said, getting off of the bed and walking to the door of the hotel room. "Take it easy on that head."  
  
"Thanks man," Kurt said. "I'll see you later."  
  
"Yeah," Matt agreed. "Night bro."  
  
"Night Matty," Jeff said.  
  
"How do you have this much energy?" Lita asked Jeff.  
  
"I'm just a ball of energy," Jeff said. He got to his feet and walked to the window. "At least it's good for something tonight. Right Kurt?"  
  
"Yeah," Kurt said.   
  
"What we were talking about earlier Jeff," Lita said, deciding to bring it up with Kurt around. "I haven't talked to Matt about it yet, but I think you should just tell Trish."  
  
"Lita," Jeff said, motioning toward Kurt.  
  
"Kurt knows Jeff," Lita said. "And that's why I think you should tell someone."  
  
"How do you know?" Jeff asked Kurt.  
  
"I told him," Lita said. "He found me crying the other day and I kind of confessed everything to him."  
  
"You can't tell anyone!" Jeff exclaimed.  
  
"I won't!" Kurt replied.  
  
"It helped me a lot," Lita said to Jeff.  
  
Jeff nodded his head. "Okay, I might tell Trish then. But I have to be sure she won't tell anyone."  
  
"She'll keep her mouth closed for you," Kurt said.  
  
"Is that why you took the chair shot?" Jeff asked suddenly.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt admitted.  
  
"Well," Jeff said, looking at Kurt in a whole new light. "Thank you for that. It means a lot."  
  
"Your welcome," Kurt said.  
  
"I guess we should get back to the movie," Jeff said, pouncing onto the bed Lita was on. "Give me the remote Red." 


	4. Chapter Four

Title: "Only Hope" (4/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
  
A/N: Thanks to Grace, Huntress, Eliseth (you're the best girl!) and Laurie for their reviews...I appreciate it a lot!!!  
  
*  
RAW 03/11/02  
  
"Damn!" Jeff yelled when he got backstage. He began to hop on one foot because his left ankle hurt so badly. "I hate those damn Dudleys!"  
  
"Jeff!" a voice called from down the hall. He turned his head to see his girlfriend, Trish Stratus heading toward him. She stopped just in front of him and looked down at his feet with concern written all over her face. "I saw you limping. Your ankle again?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, touched that she had come to see how he was even though she had her own match to get ready for. She moved next to him so he could use her as a crutch. "How's Matt?"  
  
"He's probably not too good if he and Lita still aren't in back," Jeff said. Matt had gotten a 3-D, luckily it wasn't through a table.  
  
"You sure you're okay baby?" Lita asked, walking a half-step behind Matt as they finally made it backstage.  
  
"I'm fine Leet," Matt said calmly. He knew that since he had been diagnosed with cancer both Lita and Jeff would be rather concerned with his physical well-being.  
  
"Well, you and Jeff are still going to see the trainer," Lita said firmly.  
  
"Lita!" Jeff whined.  
  
"You hurt you're ankle," Trish said to her boyfriend. "You are getting it checked out."  
  
"Fine," Jeff pouted.  
  
"I'm gonna have to drop you off sweetie," Lita said to Matt. "I have to get ready for the tag match later."  
  
"Okay," Matt said.  
  
"How is Jazz in the ring?" Lita asked Trish, her tag-team partner for the night.  
  
"She's a tough bitch," Trish said, a frown marring her brow as she unconsciously clenched the hand that Jazz had smashed to pieces.  
  
"You've got two more patients!" Lita said to the trainer. "I know you're getting sick of seeing Matt in here, but I have to make sure he's in perfect health."  
  
"I understand," the trainer said, smiling at the redhead. He was one of the few people in the WWF who knew about Matt's condition.  
  
"And this moron managed to hurt his ankle again," Trish said, helping him sit down in an empty chair. She bent down and brushed a kiss over his lips.  
  
"Thanks," Jeff said dryly. He caught a lock of her hair and pulled her close for another, longer kiss. "Good luck tonight."  
  
"Thank you Jeff," Trish said.  
  
"I'll talk to you later sweetheart," Lita said to Matt, squeezing his hand before she left the room. Matt watched her walk away.  
  
"I'm so lucky I came to my senses," Matt said to Jeff.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Jeff asked his brother.  
  
"I mean I don't know how I would be handling everything if I didn't have you and Lita in my life," Matt said. "And I very nearly lost that."  
  
"Hey, forget the past," Jeff said. "Live the moment."  
  
"Yeah," Matt said, grinning at Jeff. They reached out their arms to each other and rubbed knuckles.  
  
*  
  
"How is Matt really?" Trish asked Lita within the privacy of the Team Xtreme dressing room before their match started.  
  
"Who knows?" Lita sighed. "He's trying to be strong for Jeff and I. I really love him for that. But I wish I could be sure he was okay."  
  
"You know those boys don't like to let anyone know their weaknesses," Trish said. "Matt doesn't want to scare you anymore than you already are scared."  
  
"I know," Lita sighed. "But I want to be there for him."  
  
"You are there for him," Trish said. "And he knows you are there for him."  
  
"I guess so," Lita said. She stood up and clapped her hands together. "Lets go introduce Jazz and Stacy to the unstoppable duo of Lita and Trish."  
  
"Sounds like a plan," Trish said.  
  
Lita and Trish were fighting a pretty even match. They fought mostly against Jazz. Probably because no one, including Jazz, respected Stacy's fighting ability. After Lita hit a moonsault on Jazz, the woman's champion desperately raced to the corner to tag in Stacy. Lita stared the woman who had publicly gone after her boyfriend down.  
  
Lita didn't notice Jazz go around the ring and pull Trish from the ring apron. She didn't notice D-von and Buh-Buh come down to the ring, table in hand. She didn't realize she was going through a table until she was 3-D'd through it.  
  
"Lita!" she vaguely heard Trish called. She heard metal crashing against something. She could only assume it was Jazz hitting Trish with a chair.  
  
Lita heard a familiar entrance music start playing, but her brain felt so fuzzy after going through the table. Moments later she heard footsteps running near her. She heard the sounds of hand-to-hand combat and feet running away.  
  
"Jazz! Stacy!" Buh-Buh called to the women.   
  
Trish got to her feet with the help of the King. "You going to be okay?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," Trish nodded. "Lita?"  
  
"I think she's taken care of," King said, pointing to the ring.  
  
"Lita!" Kurt called softly to his friend.  
  
"Kurt?" Lita asked dazedly.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt said, helping her from the wreckage of the table. "Are you okay to walk?"  
  
"Yeah," Lita said softly. "Trish?"  
  
"She's alright," Kurt said to Lita. He held her elbow as he helped her from the ring. As soon as they started to walk up the ramp, Lita stumbled. Kurt quickly took matters into his own hands and picked Lita up and carried her backstage.  
  
"Kurt!" Lita exclaimed.   
  
"What?" Kurt asked, his blue eyes connecting with her warm brown ones.  
  
"You don't have to do this," Lita said.  
  
"Let me though," Kurt said.  
  
"Why is it important?" Lita asked.  
  
"Ask me some other time okay?" Kurt asked. "I promise I will tell you though."  
  
"Okay," Lita said. "You sure I'm not too heavy?"  
  
"If I've lifted Stephanie up you shouldn't be a problem," Kurt joked.  
  
Lita laughed. She became mock serious, "Shh, her spies are everywhere."  
  
"Her what?" Kurt asked, his blue eyes glowed with laughter. "That's too funny."  
  
"You okay baby?" Matt asked as he approached Kurt and Lita.  
  
"Thanks to Kurt," Lita said. "You don't even have to force me to see the trainer this time. I'm ready."  
  
"Just a few more steps," Kurt said, taking the redhead all the way to the trainer's office.  
  
"Thanks man," Matt said. "You seem to be there a lot for us anymore."  
  
"Well, I think of you guys as friends now," Kurt said. "I mean we've had two movie marathons, four midnight snack runs, and one ice cream party...I've grown attached to you guys I guess."  
  
"We're glad to have you around," Matt said, slinging an arm around Kurt's neck.  
  
"Thanks," Kurt said.  
  
"Well, Jeff's been ordered not to wrestle for a week," Matt said to Kurt. "What do you say to you and I getting a little retribution for the divas tomorrow?"  
  
"I'm in," Kurt said. 


	5. Chapter Five

Title: "Only Hope" (3/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
  
"What are you two doing?" Lita asked Kurt and Matt at the SmackDown taping the next day.  
  
"Getting ready for our match," Matt said, uncertain as to why Lita seemed angry.  
  
"Against the Dudley Boys!" Lita exclaimed. "What are you two doing wrestling the Dudleys this close to WrestleMania?"  
  
"After what they did you and Tri-"  
  
"I don't want to hear it Matt," Lita said, cutting her boyfriend off by placing her hand over his mouth. "You and Jeff are going to face them at WrestleMania, isn't that enough."  
  
"This is different," Matt protested. "This is personal."  
  
"You are the most wonderful boyfriend in the world Matt," Lita said sincerely, smiling down at Matt. "But you don't need to do this for me."  
  
"Yes I do," Matt said firmly.  
  
"Whatever," Lita sighed. She spun around to face Kurt. "And you!"  
  
"Me?" Kurt asked defensively.  
  
"You have a match against Kevin Nash on Sunday. You can't actually think he's not going to find some way to get involved in this match!" Lita exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air.  
  
"If he does," Kurt shrugged. "Then he does."  
  
"I can't let you do this for me you guys," Lita said, plopping down next to Matt. "I would feel so bad if you got hurt."  
  
"I would feel worse if I just let the Dudleys go," Matt said, brushing a strand of Lita's hair out of her face. "I could not stand that."  
  
"I know," Lita said softly, pressing her cheek against Matt's warm palm. "And I really hate that about you."  
  
"You love it," Matt said, kissing her lightly.  
  
"I do," Lita admitted. "Be careful."  
  
"I will be," Matt said.  
  
"Hello!" Kurt called to his friends. "Should I leave the room for awhile?"  
  
"No!" Lita exclaimed, her face turning beet red. "Sorry about that Kurt."  
  
"They do it all the time," Jeff told Kurt as he limped into the room. "I talked to a few guys about making sure no huge nWo freaks interfere in your match boys."  
  
"I love you Jeff!" Lita said happily.  
  
"Hey!" Matt said, pulling Lita closer to him.  
  
"Shush you," Lita said, lightly punching his shoulder. "Thanks Jeff."  
  
"It was a little selfish," Jeff admitted. "I wanted to make sure that I have a tag team partner for Sunday."  
  
"I see," Lita said. "Where's Trish?"  
  
"Asking for a fatal four-way Women's Championship Match," Jeff said, sliding into the chair next to Kurt.  
  
"I can't believe she even talked to Vince after that whole relationship fiasco they had," Lita sighed, wishing she could completely forget Trish's past. At times it seemed like she could but at others it hit her over the head.  
  
"She's asking Flair," Jeff said. "Vince was probably laughing when he saw what Jazz and Stacey did to her yesterday."  
  
"So who does she want in the four-way?" Lita asked.  
  
"You, her, Jazz, and Molly," Jeff said.  
  
"Looks like Jazz is going to be outnumbered," Lita said. "Too bad for her."  
  
"That's what I thought myself," Trish said as she skipped happily into the room. "Luckily Flair likes her about as much as I do."  
  
"We got the match then?" Lita asked.  
  
"We sure did," Trish said.   
  
"Good for you guys," Jeff said, pulling Trish onto his lap. "I'm sure you'll show her what it's like to be surrounded."  
  
"I'll try," Trish said, wrapping an arm around Jeff's neck. "I will try."  
  
"We've got to go," Matt said to Kurt.  
  
"I'm ready," Kurt said. He stood up and stripped off the t-shirt he was wearing.   
  
"Oh baby take it off!" Trish teased Kurt. They had been friends before and then their lives had gone in different directions, but they never turned against each other.   
  
"Yeah Kurt," Lita said, joining Trish in teasing Kurt.  
  
Kurt blushed slightly at the catcalls. "Stop teasing me you guys."  
  
"Oh, I think you should walk around with your shirt off more often," Trish said. "I'm sure you work on having such great abs...why not show them off?"  
  
"I guess," Kurt muttered.  
  
"And what about that but?" Lita asked Trish. "Nice and firm looking."  
  
"Yeah," Trish nodded. "You're just a beefcake package Mister Angle."  
  
"You two can stop now," Kurt said. He didn't notice the amused looks on Jeff and Matt's faces.   
  
"Good luck you two," Lita said, grinning at her boyfriend and Kurt.  
  
"Yeah, good luck!" Trish said. As Kurt walked by she slapped his butt teasingly. "Damn, that ass is firm too!"  
  
Kurt blushed again as he walked quickly out of the room.  
  
*  
  
"Good to see you boys!" Austin said as he ran into the ring to chase Kevin Nash out of the ring. "I really hate party crashers!"  
  
"Same here," Kurt said.   
  
The match had been going on pretty fairly until Nash had run down to the ring and gone after Kurt. The Dudleys had used that to get Matt in another 3-D. They were setting up the table as Austin ran down to the ring.   
  
"Can I join the army?" Edge asked as he came down to the ring too.  
  
"What are you doing down here son?" Austin asked.  
  
"We thought Hall might come down here if he saw you," Edge said, smiling at his friends in the ring. He saw Kurt helping Matt to his feet.   
  
Hall and Hogan did indeed come down to the ring. Close on their heels was The Rock. After a little bit of fair fighting, the nWo and the Dudleys had been scared away from the ring. The Rock, Austin, Edge, Kurt Angle, and Matt Hardy stood in the middle of the room staring them down.  
  
Austin and The Rock left the ring pretty soon afterwards. Edge stayed behind to walk to the back with Kurt and Matt.   
  
"Kurt I don't feel so-"  
  
Kurt watched in horror as Matt's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he collapsed onto the mat. "Matt!" he screamed. He was quickly on his knees beside his friend, turning him over onto his back.  
  
"What's wrong?" Edge asked, obviously in shock.  
  
"Get him a stretcher!" Kurt exclaimed. Edge nodded his head and fled up the ring to alert the EMTs of Matt's condition. On the way up the ramp he passed Jeff and Lita as they ran down to the ring.  
  
"Could you tell what happened?" Kurt asked Jeff as he appeared at his side.  
  
"He just, just..." Jeff said, not finishing his sentence as looked down at his brother. His face was pale.  
  
"Not yet," Lita said softly. "I can't let go of you yet Matt Hardy!"  
  
"Lita," Kurt said, pulling her into an embrace.  
  
"Can we get some room please?" an EMT asked as they brought in a board to carry Matt to the stretcher.  
  
Jeff, Kurt, and Lita moved away from Matt as the EMTs worked quickly to get him out of the ring. Moments later, the trio found themselves following the stretcher Matt was on up the ramp.  
  
"Can we ride with him?" Lita asked.  
  
"Family members only," one EMT replied.  
  
"But-" Jeff said.  
  
"Just go Jeff," Lita said. "I'll grab our stuff and meet you at the hospital."  
  
"You sure?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Yeah," Lita said.  
  
"Take care of her," Jeff said, looking at Kurt. Kurt nodded to him. Jeff raced off behind Matt's stretcher as Kurt turned to follow Lita. 


	6. Chapter Six

Title: "Only Hope" (6/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
  
  
Lita pretended not to cry as she hunched over the duffel bag Matt had brought to the arena. She looked over at Jeff's stuff and mentally told herself that she needed to get his stuff together too. She didn't know how he had managed to make such a mess when he didn't have a match that night.  
  
Kurt watched her from the doorway. He could feel tears filling his eyes watching her. He had truly grown close to Matt, Jeff, and Lita over the past several weeks. He had been able to maintain composure for Jeff, Lita, and the fans while he was out there, but now it was hitting him that one of his close friends was falling victim to cancer.  
  
He hadn't felt this sense of loss since his coach had been murdered…so many years ago.  
  
He shook his head at himself. He could not think of himself just yet. He had to be there for Jeff and Lita. Or at least Lita. Jeff had Trish and he knew it.  
  
"What the hell?" Lita asked as she pulled out a small bottle with a clear liquid inside of it. It was one of those bottles that you used to get medicine into a syringe.  
  
"What is it Lita?" Kurt asked, stepping further into the room.  
  
"It's morphine," Lita said, dropping the vial into the bag as she searched deeper into the duffel bag. "He said he would stop before he had to start morphine!"  
  
"Hey Lita," Kurt said, crouching next to Lita. "I don't think Matt would like to see you searching through his personal stuff."  
  
"I don't care!" Lita exclaimed, her furious brown eyes meeting Kurt's concerned blue eyes. "He gave up the right to privacy when he neglected to tell me he was taking morphine Kurt!"  
  
"He probably doesn't want you to be worried," Kurt said.  
  
"I have to worry about him," Lita said. "I promised his father that I would take care of him. How can I take care of him when he won't tell me when he's hurting?"  
  
"Maybe it's just for if something happens," Kurt reasoned. "Maybe he's not taking it."  
  
Lita pulled a plastic bag out of the duffel bag. Inside was an empty vial and a used syringe. "So much for that theory."  
  
"C'mere," Kurt said, pulling Lita into his arms. He sat down on the ground and Lita sat in his lap as she sobbed on his chest. Kurt smoothed Lita's hair and let her cry.  
  
"I'm not ready for him to be worse yet Kurt," Lita cried. "He seemed so healthy here. I kept thinking maybe the doctors were wrong. They are wrong all the time."  
  
"Maybe they are wrong Lita," Kurt said softly, wishing he could fix everything for the redhead who had become so dear to him. "Maybe."  
  
"With this," Lita said, flopping the plastic bag around. "I don't know how he couldn't be worse already."  
  
"I wish I could say something Lita," Kurt said, patting her back gently.  
  
"You've done so much already Kurt," Lita said, pulling away from Kurt and wiping the tears off of her face. "I'm such a mess."  
  
"No you aren't," Kurt said honestly.   
  
"I have to be strong," Lita said, smiling bravely. "I can't let Matt or Jeff see how scared I am. I can't do that to them."  
  
"You can let it all hang out when you're around me, okay?" Kurt said, smiling at her.  
  
"Thanks Kurt," Lita said. "Why don't you go grab your stuff and I'll get this stuff together and we will head out."  
  
"Already done," said a soft voice from the door. Kurt and Lita looked up to see Trish standing in the doorway, holding three duffel bags. "Edge got your stuff together for you Kurt. He thought Lita might need some comfort. I got your stuff out of the women's locker room Li."  
  
"Thanks," Lita said, standing up to hug Trish. "I appreciate it."  
  
"Well, I'm hoping to get a ride out of it," Trish said.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt said, "we'll take my car."  
  
"What about Matt's car?" Lita asked.  
  
"We'll have Edge drive it," Kurt shrugged. "I think he came with Rob."  
  
"Okay," Lita said. "Can you give him the keys while I get this stuff together then?"  
  
"Sure," Kurt said. He looked in his bag and grabbed a t-shirt and some warm-up tear-aways. He took the keys from Lita and headed off in search of Edge.  
  
*  
  
"Hey," Lita said, tapping Jeff on the shoulder as she came into Matt's room. "How's he doing?"  
  
"He's fine," Jeff said. "The doctor said it was probably fatigue. But I don't understand. He seemed just fine."  
  
"I know," Lita said, slinging her arm around Jeff's shoulder as she sat next to Jeff. She looked forward to see Matt sleeping on the bed. "Has he come to?"  
  
"Not yet," Jeff said, leaning against Lita. "How are you?"  
  
"I'll be fine," Lita said. "I think there's someone who would like to make sure you are okay. I'll stay with Matt."  
  
Jeff looked over his shoulder to see Trish waiting just outside the door. A few feet behind her was Kurt Angle. He took Lita's hand and squeezed it. He got out of his seat and went to Trish.  
  
"Hey," he said to her, taking her into his arms.  
  
"Hey yourself," Trish said, resting her head on his shoulder. "How are you doing?"  
  
"I'm doing okay," Jeff said. "I'm glad you came."  
  
"Me too," Trish said. She laced her arms tightly around his back. "I'll always be here for you. You know that right?"  
  
"I do now," Jeff said. He rested his chin on top of her head as he looked over at Kurt. "Thanks for getting them here man."  
  
"Not a problem," Kurt said. "Do any of you need anything?"  
  
"Nah," Jeff said. "I think I'm just staying here tonight. They want to keep him for observation."  
  
"I see," Kurt said. "I talked to Vince on the way out. He said he would drop by after the show."  
  
"Great," Jeff sighed.  
  
"At least he's showing concern baby," Trish said softly.  
  
"I know," Jeff said. "I just want this to be people who are actually close to Matt here. You know what I mean?"  
  
"I hope that includes me," Edge said, slinging an arm around Kurt's shoulders as he came upon the group in the waiting area.  
  
"Yeah, all of you guys have helped us a lot in the past month," Jeff said. He noticed Kurt looking uncomfortable. "Kurt, you know we want you here right?"  
  
"You don't need…I mean," Kurt stumbled. "I want to be here, but I know we haven't always been friends."  
  
"If there's one things us Hardys know," Jeff said, "it's to let the past stay where it belongs…in the past. If I didn't believe that, not only would I not be talking to my brother right now, I wouldn't have a girlfriend."  
  
Trish smiled sadly as she squeezed Jeff more tightly. He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. He mentally thanked God for sending Trish to him, since he wasn't sure how he would be able to handle the situation without her.  
  
"I have a feeling Lita will need you tonight anyway," Jeff said to Kurt. "You've been a good friend to her."  
  
"Thanks," Kurt said.  
  
"Thank you," Jeff said.  
  
"I have a feeling that I'm the one out of the loop here," Edge said. "What's going on with Matt you guys?"  
  
Kurt, Trish, and Jeff all looked uncomfortably at each other. Jeff finally said, "It's going to come out anyways so we might as well tell you…Matt's got cancer."  
  
"Why isn't he being treated?" Edge asked in shock. "Can't chemo help or something?"  
  
"It's not that kind of cancer," Jeff said. "By the time we found out it was already so far gone. He's just trying to live what's left of his life now."  
  
"I can't believe this," Edge said. He felt like all of the breath had been taken out of him. He knew he hadn't always been friends with the Hardy's, but over the past several months he had really grown close to them. "How could you not tell me?"  
  
"Matt didn't want anyone to know," Jeff said. "He didn't want people to treat him strangely. But he's going to retire now so…"  
  
Jeff looked over his shoulder. Lita was sitting on the chair right next to Matt's bed. She held his hand in both of hers.  
  
"How did I ever fall in love with you Matthew Moore Hardy?" Lita asked softly.  
  
"Must be my stunning good looks," Matt said softly.  
  
"You're awake!" Lita exclaimed softly, squeezing his hand.  
  
"Where am I?" Matt asked.  
  
"Hospital," Lita said. "You gave us quite a scare there buddy. I don't like seeing you pass out in the middle of the ring."  
  
"Sorry baby," Matt said, finally opening his eyes and looking at her. "I didn't mean to scare you."  
  
"I know you didn't," Lita said. "I think when you really love someone you can't help but be scared for them most of the time."  
  
"I want to go to WrestleMania," Matt said firmly. "I won't fight you anymore if you just let me go to that."  
  
"Will you promise not to hide anything else from me?" Lita asked.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Matt asked.  
  
"I know about the morphine sweetie," Lita said.  
  
"Shit," Matt swore softly. "I'm sorry Lita."  
  
"It's okay," Lita said. "We may not have enough time to be angry at each other."  
  
"Sometimes I wish you would get angry with me," Matt said.  
  
"It's not this time," Lita said. "I'm too relieved to know that it was just fatigue that caused you to pass out to be angry."  
  
"I wish I could make a miracle for you baby," Matt said. "But we both know that I can't."  
  
"Honey," Lita said. "The miracle is us. I love you so much. I'm so lucky to have found that. Don't ever doubt that."  
  
"I love you too," Matt said, squeezing Lita's hand.   
  
"I think Jeff would like to see you now," Lita said, leaning over and lightly kissing Matt. "I'll be just outside the door." 


	7. Chapter Seven

Kurt Angle was dismayed to feel tears in his eyes as he listened to Matt Hardy speak to the fans on March 18, 2002. It was the day after WrestleMania. The day before, Matt and Jeff defeated the Dudley Boys. Only seven people in the world knew that it would be the last match between the two tag teams.  
  
"I wanted to come out here today to thank all of you fans for being the best fans anyone could ever ask for," Matt said. "I know this sounds like this is coming out of the blue, but it's not. As of tonight, I am no longer a WWF wrestler."  
  
There was a chorus of boos around the arena. Matt held up his hand to the audience. "If I could stay around, I swear to you all that I would. But I can't stay here anymore. I have to go."  
  
Matt looked over to Lita, who was leaning against a turnbuckle. She smiled to him in encouragement. He nodded his head. "The fainting spell I had last SmackDown was not just fatigue like JR and everyone else has been telling you. Last December, I was diagnosed with cancer. By the time anyone realized something was wrong, the cancer was already in my bones.   
  
"The pain now is too much for me to handle. I know that I would be spitting on the memories of so many phenomenal superstars if I stayed around for too long," Matt said. "I know that now is the time for me to quit and to spend time with my family and the people I care about most."  
  
There was a stunned silence throughout the arena. No one could believe what they were hearing, no one except for the select few who already knew. Lita moved toward the center of the ring. She held Matt's hand in hers, urging him to go on.  
  
"This has been the ride of my life," Matt said. "I will never forget my time here in the WWF and I will never forget every single one of you fans who helped to make my greatest dream come true. You each have a part of my heart. I also want to thank all of the Superstars who have showed me the ropes in the past, men like Austin and The Rock and even the Undertaker. I want to think some of the talented competitors I've faced like the Dudleys and E&C. And I would like to thank all of the friends I've made over the years for making me a part of the extended family of the WWF.  
  
"I want to thank Jericho though we don't see eye to eye much anymore. I want to thank Shane McMahon for all of the times he told me that I was great and he believed in me. I want to thank Vince and JR for giving me the chance to be here in the WWF. I want to thank Trish for showing me how important it is to look beyond appearances. I want to thank Kurt Angle for showing me that people can indeed change. I want to thank my brother Jeff for being...well, for being the best brother in the world. And I want to thank Lita for being the most amazing person I've ever come in contact with.  
  
"I love all of you...you've all made me the man that I am," Matt said, wiping a tear away from his eyes. "God bless you all."  
  
There was a standing ovation for Matt Hardy as he, Lita, and Jeff walked backstage slowly without any music accompanying them. At the top of the ring, Matt turned back and did the guns one final time.  
  
"Christ," Jeff joked when they got to the back. "You made Angle cry. Normally he only does that shit when he's won something."  
  
"Shut up Jeff," Kurt said. "That was very classy Matt."  
  
"Thanks Kurt," Matt said, embracing the man that he had come close to over the past several weeks. "And thanks for pretending you didn't know all along."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Thank you for pretending you didn't know I had cancer before last week Kurt," Matt said. "And thank you for not telling anyone."  
  
"How did you know?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Because Lita looked like she was walking around a lot easier after she would talk to you privately," Matt said, looking over at the woman who meant the world to him. "And because you took that chair shot for me."  
  
"Well," Kurt said. "Damn, I thought I was keeping the secret so well."  
  
"You were great," Matt said. "I am very proud to call you my friend Kurt Angle."  
  
"You may not be very proud to call me a friend," a voice said from behind Matt. "But I want you to know I'm damn glad that I consider you to be one."  
  
Matt turned to see his former best friend, Chris Jericho standing behind him. Matt simply nodded and embraced the man. They cried together. "Not you man," Chris said, his voice wracked with pain.  
  
Kurt walked over to Stephanie, who was watching the exchange. "Hey."  
  
"Hey yourself," Stephanie said. Her eyes were red. "I can't believe...any of this."  
  
"Yeah," Kurt agreed. "He's a great guy. I can't think of many people who deserve this less. And it hurts to see Lita and Jeff going through it with him."  
  
"You actually care about them," Stephanie marveled. She had always considered Kurt to be her friend, but she had considered his emotions to be rather shallow. That was one of the reasons she had never had the affair that she was very tempted to have with him.  
  
"Shocking that I care about anyone more than me huh?" Kurt asked.  
  
"They just saw the real you I guess," Stephanie said. "It's a shame you kept that from the rest of us Kurt. I might have liked to get to know the real you."  
  
"Ah hell Steph," Kurt sighed. "I don't think I even knew the real me until pretty damn recently. I think I wanted to actually be the asshole I pretended to be."  
  
"Don't do it anymore," Stephanie said. "Jericho was crying like a baby. I don't see our partnership lasting much longer."  
  
"But he retained the championship," Kurt said.  
  
"He's going to remember that power and belts are not the only things in the world that matter," Stephanie said. "Matt's going to show him that he did like pleasing the fans. That he is really a very good guy who's usually the first to save people from being ambushed. Then he won't need me anymore."  
  
"You don't give the man enough credit," Kurt said. "You think he was lying when he said he didn't really mean those things he used to call you?"  
  
"Of course he meant them," Stephanie said. "I was...am a pretty big bitch."  
  
"Stephanie, he's in love with you," Kurt sighed. "He's been in love with you for what seems like forever."  
  
"No way," Stephanie said. "He despises me."  
  
"Ask him," Kurt said.  
  
Stephanie looked over at Jericho intently. He turned his head and smiled slightly at her. She returned the smile, although hers was rather tentative. "I might do that."  
  
Kurt and Stephanie stood by each other in silence. She finally asked him, "What are you going to do now?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Kurt asked.  
  
"I mean you obviously are very attached to Team Xtreme here," Stephanie said, motioning to the people who had become an extended family to Kurt. "Are you going to be able to stay here without them?"  
  
"I don't know," Kurt said honestly. "I hadn't thought about it."  
  
*  
  
"Kurt!" Matt exclaimed as he opened his door to see his friend on his porch four days later. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was thinking that there's not a whole hell of a lot left for me in the WWF with my closest friends gone," Kurt said. "And I was thinking about leaving for awhile to train for the next Olympics. I thought, why not North Carolina?"  
  
"Wow," Matt said in surprise. He opened the door wider to allow Kurt into the house he shared with his father. "We'd be glad to have you here."  
  
"Really?" Kurt asked.  
  
"You know we would," Matt said. "You've been a pillar of strength for my girlfriend. And you've really been a great friend to me."  
  
"Thanks," Kurt said. "You all have been awesome, giving me a chance to prove I wasn't the arrogant bastard I tried to be."  
  
"What does Vince say about all of this?" Matt asked.  
  
"Who cares?" Kurt said, not mentioning the fit that Vince had thrown. Kurt had promptly reminded Vince that he wanted to destroy the WWF and asked why he would care if one of his stars left. He had agreed to let Kurt leave rather quickly after that.  
  
"Kurt!" Lita said, coming into the room.  
  
"Kurt's moving to North Carolina to train for the Olympics," Matt said to Lita.  
  
"You'll be close then," Lita said. "I'm glad."  
  
"Maybe you can stay with Jeff," Matt said. "I know he's a little bored in a house by himself. We spend hours there every day."  
  
"Jeff would probably want to help you train," Lita said. "He's probably desperate for something to do."  
  
"If he gets more bored we might find another man-made volcano in his yard," Matt joked. "Then Trish would kick our asses."  
  
"That might be fun," Kurt agreed.  
  
"Lets find you a place to live," Matt said, slinging an arm around his shoulder. 


	8. Chapter Eight

Title: "Only Hope" (8/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
  
*  
  
May 2002  
  
*  
  
Lita leaned her forehead against the cool tile of the shower. She felt the water course down her body as she stood in the spray of water. She had just started to finally accept everything. She had realized Matt wouldn't be with her forever.  
  
But now everything was different.  
  
*  
  
"Thirty four minutes and fifty seconds," Jeff said as Kurt jogged toward him. "About seven minute miles man."  
  
"Isn't that what you wanted?" Kurt asked between breaths. He looked bitterly over at Jeff, his trainer.   
  
Jeff grinned as he climbed off of him bicycle. "That is what I wanted. But it was you who said you wanted to have better endurance. I can't think of anything that's better than cross-country running for that."  
  
"Torturing you Angle?" Matt asked as he ambled off of Jeff's front porch. He came over everyday around eight in the morning. It gave him a chance to lift with Jeff and Kurt after Kurt's morning run.  
  
"Have you felt how humid it is out here?" Kurt asked, wiping the sweat off of his forehead. "Five miles kills out here."  
  
"I've never been crazy enough to try," Matt said. "You ready to bench 350?"  
  
Kurt groaned, "It never ends!"  
  
"You're the one who asked us to train you," Jeff said amiably.   
  
"Please don't remind me Jeff," Kurt said. They walked around to the back of Jeff's house. There was an enclosed patio that housed the new weight equipment that Kurt had bought to train with.  
  
"You're doing great Kurt," Matt said. "I managed to line up a couple of amateur matched for you next week."  
  
"I wish I could practice beforehand," Kurt said.  
  
"I thought you were teaching Jeff," Matt said.  
  
"I was," Kurt said. "And he still doesn't seem to know how to wrestle."  
  
"It's just so strange," Jeff said, shaking his head. "It's all floor work and holds."  
  
"You know it might help your own in-ring skills if you attempt to learn how to freestyle wrestle," Matt said. "And that could only increase the longevity of your career."  
  
"Bite me," Jeff said to his brother, with no trace of anger in his voice.  
  
"Tempting," Matt said. "But no."  
  
Kurt chuckled as he situated himself on the bench press machine. He counted off twelve quick reps.   
  
"You are the man," Jeff said in awe.  
  
"What?" Kurt asked, sitting up and grabbing his towel to wipe away more sweat.  
  
"I mean that if I even attempted 350 I would go very, very slowly and not as quick as you just did," Jeff said.  
  
"Well, if that's what it takes," Kurt shrugged.  
  
"Why do you feel like you have something to prove?" Matt asked.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked.  
  
"I mean you've already overcome the odds and won an Olympic medal," Matt said. "Why are you trying for another one?"  
  
"I don't know," Kurt admitted. "And actually, I want to do this for the fun of competing this time. Last time it was all about the medal. This time it's about the sport."  
  
"Cool," Matt said. "Do your next set."  
  
Kurt grinned as he again situated himself at the bench press machine to complete his second of five sets.  
  
*  
  
"Hey baby," Matt said as he breezed into the kitchen of the house he shared with his father and now Lita.  
  
"Hi," Lita said, leaning into Matt as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. "How was lifting?"  
  
"Fine," Matt said. "Jeff seems to worship Kurt because of how much he can bench press."  
  
"Has he seen what HHH is bench pressing these days?" Lita asked.  
  
"Don't even want to go there," Matt said. "Plus, Kurt is our friend and Hunter just isn't."  
  
"True," Lita said. "Did you eat lunch while you were over there?"  
  
"No," Matt said.  
  
"Let me make you a sandwich," Lita said, turning to the refrigerator to get the parts of a sandwich.  
  
"I'm not hungry sweetie," Matt said. "I had two bowls of cereal this morning."  
  
"Let me make you a sandwich," Lita said again, more firmly.  
  
"I know you think you're taking care of me when you insist on making me eat but I don't want a sandwich," Matt said.  
  
"Can you not argue with me on this Matt?" Lita asked. "You need your strength."  
  
"Lita," Matt said. "I don't need my strength. I need to just live my life until I can't anymore. I need to stop worrying."  
  
"You need your damn strength," Lita insisted. She felt tears coming to her eyes. She could not handle Matt becoming weak right now.  
  
"What is up with you right now?" Matt asked, making Lita face him and look him in his eyes.   
  
"Nothing," Lita said, keeping her gaze averted.  
  
"Look Red," Matt said, sounding a bit impatient. "I don't have enough time here for us to get messed up with lying."  
  
"Fine," Lita said. "I just realized how much I need you around. I really do need you around Matt. Why can't you take care of yourself?"  
  
"I thought you had accepted what was going to happen," Matt said.  
  
"I had!" Lita exclaimed. "But my body didn't take into account that you are dying!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Matt asked suspiciously.  
  
"I'm pregnant Matt," Lita said. She didn't want to seem angry, but she was angry. She didn't want to raise Matt's child alone. She wanted to grow old with him.  
  
"I thought you were on the pill," Matt said, his voice quiet and stunned.  
  
"There's an original response," Lita said sarcastically.  
  
"I'm sorry," Matt said. "It's just..."  
  
"Terrible timing?" Lita offered.  
  
"I guess," Matt said. "I never thought about us having children. I imagined us together forever, but never children."  
  
"Well," Lita said. "We're having a child. God, I hope it's only a child. I don't think I can handle two."  
  
"You're beautiful," Matt said, watching Lita pace across the kitchen. "And I love you."  
  
"I love you too," Lita said, stopping to face Matt. "And I know it seems like I'm angry about this. And I am angry. But I'm angry that you won't be here for everything. It's a cruel hand we've been dealt Matt."  
  
"What do you mean?" Matt asked, wrapping his arms around Lita's waist as he pulled her close to him.  
  
"I mean we're having a child," Lita said. "We should be as happy as we've ever been. But there's this black cloud on the horizon."  
  
"When's the baby due?" Matt asked.  
  
"Christmas," Lita said. "If you can believe that."  
  
"I can," Matt said. "You want to make me that sandwich now?"  
  
Lita looked into Matt's brown eyes and kissed him softly. "Thank you."  
  
"No," Matt said. "Thank you."  
  
"For what?" Lita asked.  
  
"For giving me a reason to be grateful and happy when I have every reason to be bitter and angry at the world," Matt said. "First by loving me and second by giving me this wonderful gift."  
  
"Oh Matt," Lita said.  
  
"I will meet our child," Matt promised.  
  
"I know," Lita said, kissing him one more time before turning to make him a sandwich. 


	9. Chapter Nine

Title: "Only Hope" (9/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
  
*  
  
June 2002  
  
*  
  
"Hey baby," Lita said, plopping onto the couch next to Matt.   
  
"Oh hey," Matt said, his thoughts returning to the present. He had been thinking of the future. A future he wouldn't be present for.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Lita asked, picking up his hand and intertwining her fingers with his.  
  
"Nothing much," Matt lied.  
  
"You're the one who told me that we don't have enough time left together to lie to each other," Lita said. Her brown eyes clouded with concern because she knew that Matt had been thinking very serious thoughts.  
  
"I was just imagining all kinds of different scenarios," Matt said. He squeezed Lita's hand gently. "You know?"  
  
"I do that a lot anymore," Lita admitted. She leaned her head on his shoulder. She loved to be near him whenever she could be. She treasured every moment she had with him.  
  
"Me too," Matt said softly. "It's hard not to."  
  
"I know," Lita said. "Is it going to jinx us?"  
  
"I hope not," Matt said. "But there is something we need to think about seriously."  
  
"What?" Lita asked.  
  
"Lamaze," Matt said.  
  
"We don't start for another month sweetie," Lita said. Her free hand went to caress her belly. She noticed that she was much more aware of her abdomen since she found out she was pregnant."  
  
"I know," Matt said.  
  
"We don't need to worry about it yet," Lita said.  
  
"We do need to worry about it," Matt said firmly.   
  
"Why?" Lita asked suspiciously.  
  
"We need to find you a partner," Matt said.  
  
"No," Lita said. "You're the father, you're going to be my partner."  
  
"Lita," Matt said softly. "I will go to every single class that I can, but there is no guarantee that I will live until the baby is born. You need to have someone healthy as your partner."  
  
"You are healthy now," Lita pointed out. "The doctors say you are the picture of good health."  
  
"And I hope to stay that way for awhile Leet," Matt said. "But I can't guarantee either of us that I won't take a turn for the worse."  
  
"Don't talk like that," Lita commanded.  
  
"I have to think like that," Matt said. "I can't hope that I will make it to the end of the pregnancy and then leave you without a partner."  
  
"You have to make it Matt," Lita said. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. "You have to make it."  
  
"I want to so bad," Matt said, tears choking his throat. "And hopefully I will. Hopefully I won't have to leave you for a long, long time. But I have to plan for the worst Lita."  
  
"I know," Lita said miserably.  
  
"Hey," Matt said, "look at me."  
  
Lita turned her face towards Matt's. He brushed away a tear that slipped down her cheek. "Me saying someone else should be your partner doesn't mean that I don't want to be there every step of the way. I love this baby more than words already."  
  
"I know," Lita said. "I just can't imagine this without you."  
  
"You'll never be without me Lita," Matt said. "I will always be with you."  
  
"Thank you," Lita said. He leaned down and lightly kissed her lips.  
  
"So can we think about this now?" Matt asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.  
  
"You mean my Lamaze partner?" Lita asked.  
  
"Yeah," Matt said.  
  
"Jeff I guess," Lita said.  
  
"Jeff's likely to go crazy when you make it into labor," Matt said. "You know how he gets when there's something tense going on."  
  
"Crazy," Lita confirmed. "I could ask Trish. I'm sure she would be happy to do it."  
  
"Yeah," Matt said. "But she's still on the road. She may be able to make all of the practices, but what happens if you go into emergency labor."  
  
"She would get on the first plane," Lita said.  
  
"I know she would," Matt said. "But that's not really fair to you or her."  
  
"You obviously have someone in mind," Lita said. She feared he would suggest his father. She liked Mr. Hardy just fine but she couldn't imagine him as her Lamaze partner. Especially if Matt did take a turn for the worst.  
  
"Kurt," Matt said.  
  
"Kurt?" Lita asked in shock.  
  
"Yeah," Matt said. "He's our friend, he's cool under pressure, and he lives with Jeff."  
  
"It might work," Lita said. "If he's comfortable with it."  
  
"That's true," Matt said. "I might not be so comfortable as your Lamaze partner if I were him. But he's usually pretty cool about stuff."  
  
"I guess we should ask him then," Lita said.  
  
*  
  
"What's up?" Jeff asked as he and Kurt both sat down at chairs around his dining room table. Matt and Lita had come over and asked to speak with the both. They had both had the "very serious" look on their face.  
  
"We have to talk to both of you about something," Matt said. "We didn't want anyone to feel left out of this."  
  
"What is it?" Kurt asked.  
  
"We needed to find a Lamaze partner for Lita," Matt said to Kurt and Jeff.  
  
"Dude, you should be her partner," Jeff said, shrugging because he felt like he had solved the problem. Then he remembered his brother's condition was fragile. "Shit."  
  
"Don't worry about it Jeff," Matt said. "I hope that I can be in there when Lita has the baby. But I'm not taking any chances."  
  
"So who's the lucky person?" Jeff said.  
  
"We're hoping Kurt," Lita said.  
  
"Thank God!" Jeff exclaimed. He grinned at Matt and Lita. "No offense guys but I don't think I could handle the delivery."  
  
"That's what we were thinking," Matt admitted.  
  
"Thanks a lot!" Jeff exclaimed.  
  
"It's just because we know each other so well," Matt said, grinning at his brother.  
  
"Whatever," Jeff said, pretending to be hurt.  
  
"So will you do it?" Lita asked Kurt.  
  
"You sure you want ME to do this?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Why wouldn't we want you to?" Lita asked.  
  
"Because we haven't been close that long," Kurt said. "Up until not too long ago we could barely be in each other's presence for five minutes."  
  
"And then all of us realized we had judged each other wrongly," Lita said. "You've been a great friend these past couple of months and I would really like you to be my Lamaze partner. If you're comfortable with it."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Kurt assured her. He looked over at Matt. "And you're okay with this?"  
  
"I suggested it," Matt said.  
  
"Okay," Kurt said, nodding his head. "I'll do it."  
  
"Great," Matt said. "I'm glad that's settled."  
  
"Will you name the baby after me?" Jeff asked, grinning at his brother as Matt groaned. 


	10. Chapter Ten

Title: "Only Hope" (10/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: On request I will let you know in advance whether chapters may make you sad. Every chapter has the ability to make you sad I suppose because of the whole subject matter of Matt's illness. However, this chapter should be a happier chapter and any tears you cry should be happy tears.  
  
*  
  
September 2002  
  
*  
  
"You ready?" Matt asked Lita, taking her hand in his.  
  
"It's just a doctor's appointment Matt," Lita said, patting his hand with hers. "There's no reason to be worried."  
  
"I'm not worried," Matt said. "I'm just...anxious."  
  
"Sure," Lita said. She looked at the grandfather clock in Matt's living room. "Lets go ahead and head out."  
  
"Great," Matt said, tugging Lita along after him. She was five months pregnant and she had finally started to show. He opened the passenger door to his Explorer and helped Lita into her seat.  
  
Lita watched Matt with considerable amusement as he jogged to the other side of the car. He was always so happy anymore. It was nice because it allowed her to forget that he was sick when she was around him, at least most of the time.  
  
"You're driving the speed limit," Lita said, he voice sounding somewhat amused. Matt wasn't a dangerous driver but he did like to drive fast.  
  
"I've got precious cargo on board," Matt said, looking over at Lita. She could see the love in his eyes and it brought tears to her eyes. He reached over and took her hand in his. They held hands through the whole trip.  
  
Lita recognized that she and Matt felt the need for physical contact a lot more over the past few months than they ever had before. There was more handholding and affectionate touches than ever before. Lita was sad to think that it was because they realized they would not be able to have the physical contact forever.  
  
"Here we are," Matt said, pulling into the parking lot of Lita's OB/GYN. He jogged around the car to help her from the car.  
  
"You didn't open this many doors for me when we first started going out," Lita joked. She drew her arm through Matt's as they walked to the office.  
  
"I'm sorry," Matt said repentantly.  
  
"It's okay Matt," Lita said quickly. "I'm not the door-holding kind of girl anyways."  
  
"Yes you are," Matt said sincerely. "You deserve the world Leet. And holding a door open for you is not too much to ask."  
  
Lita blushed as Matt smiled softly at her. "How do you make me fall more and more in love with you every day?"  
  
"Must be my charm," Matt said.  
  
"Must be," Lita said dubiously. She walked to the counter and checked in for her appointment. She then went to sit next to Matt in the waiting room.  
  
"Kurt should be back by tomorrow night," Matt said, referring to the trip Kurt and Jeff had taken. They had been gone for three days. Kurt had started wrestling in amateur matches since July. In October, he had a match against Brock Lesnar, the NCAA champion who had signed with the WWF.  
  
"That's good," Lita said. "Oh, you mean for Lamaze class."  
  
"Are you distracted or something?" Matt asked.  
  
"We can find out what the sex is today," Lita said. "I always thought I would want to wait and be surprised, but now..."  
  
"It's up to you Lita," Matt said.  
  
"I want to be sure that you can help me name the baby," Lita said. "I want the baby to know that you were a part of all of this."  
  
"Okay," Matt said. "As long as it's fine with you it's fine with me."  
  
"It's fine with me," Lita said, nodding her head.  
  
"Lita Dumas," a woman with frizzy blond hair called.   
  
Matt and Lita stood up together and headed to the observation area. The nurse led them to the room Lita would be in and said, "If you can go ahead and put this gown on, the doctor will be right with you."  
  
Lita quickly changed into the gown and then situated herself on the observation table. She looked over at Matt questioningly. He had a strange look on his face.  
  
"What sweetie?" Lita asked. Matt had a faraway look on his face.   
  
"Your last name," Matt said.  
  
"You knew what it was," Lita said, not comprehending what Matt was getting at.  
  
"Yeah," Matt said. "But it's not the right one. It should be mine."  
  
"What?" Lita asked in shock.  
  
"You should have my last name Leet," Matt said. "We should be married. I'm never going to love anyone as much as I love you. I don't think it's possible."  
  
Lita looked at him in stunned disbelief. "I didn't hear a question in there."  
  
Matt grinned at her. He walked to her and took her hand in his. "I know this isn't romantic and you're wearing paper, but Lita will you marry me?"  
  
"Yeah," Lita said. "And you're right about the romantic part."  
  
There was a light knock at the door before the doctor opened the door and came into the room. "How are we today?" a red-haired woman in her forties asked.  
  
"We are excellent Dr. Hansen," Lita said, beaming up at Matt.  
  
"Well then," Dr. Hansen said, sitting in between Lita and a bunch of complicated machinery. "Why don't we do this ultrasound then."  
  
"Great," Lita said, nodding her hand.  
  
The doctor pulled out a tube and shook it a couple times. "I'm sure you've seen this in a couple of movies. And they aren't lying when they say this stuff is cold."  
  
Lita braced herself for the chill and she wasn't disappointed. "Lord, it is really cold."  
  
The doctor smiled at her briefly. "Let me turn on this monitor and we will see what we can see," Dr. Hansen said. She took out the paddle after she turned on the monitor and slid it around Lita's stomach.  
  
Matt and Lita looked in awe at the screen as they watched their baby on the screen. "Is that it's heart?" Matt asked.  
  
"Sure is," Dr. Hansen replied. "And it looks like everything in order. See those, those are the feet. And these two things are the hands."  
  
"Oh wow," Lita said. Matt squeezed her hand in his. "That's amazing."  
  
"Have you two decided if you want to know the sex?" Dr. Hansen asked.  
  
Lita looked up at Matt one last time before she said, "Yes please."  
  
"Alright," Dr. Hansen said, she pointed briefly at a spot in the screen. "You two have a baby boy on the way."  
  
"It's a boy?" Lita asked breathlessly.  
  
"Sure is," Dr. Hansen said happily. "You can take your time getting back into your clothes. Everything is in order. My receptionist will make an appointment for you to come back in one month."  
  
"Thank you Doctor," Matt said, shaking the woman's hand.  
  
*  
  
"We're having a baby boy," Matt said when he and Lita got home. "And we're getting married. How much better could life get?"  
  
"Not much," Lita lied. Life would be better if he didn't have a terminal illness.   
  
"Don't think bad thoughts Leet," Matt said.  
  
"Were you reading my mind?" Lita asked.  
  
"We are that close," Matt said. "You will never get rid of me completely sweetheart. I may not be here for everything but I will be here."  
  
"I know," Lita said, smiling at Matt. "You will always be with me."  
  
"That's the spirit sweetheart," Matt said. "Now...down to business."  
  
"What?" Lita asked as she sat down on the couch.  
  
"Names," Matt said, sitting down next to Lita.  
  
"Weren't we going to name a boy after Jeff?" Lita asked, laughing.   
  
"No!" Matt exclaimed. "Jeff can name his own kids Nero."  
  
"What?" Lita asked, laughing even harder.  
  
"When Jeff said he wanted us to name the baby after him he meant Nero," Matt said. "It's his secret hope that someone will name their son Nero."  
  
"He's going to have to run that one by Trish," Lita said. "Because she just might do it."  
  
"Do you have any ideas?" Matt asked.  
  
"Cameron," Lita said.  
  
"Cameron?" Matt asked. "Why?"  
  
"Because I've never been happier than I am here in Cameron," Lita said. "And it's different, but it's not strange."  
  
"Okay," Matt said. "I like it."  
  
"You pick the middle name," Lita said.   
  
"Hmm...we might as well make this one really different," Matt said, smiling over at Lita.  
  
"Why?" Lita asked.  
  
"It's more fun that way," Matt said.  
  
"Whatever you say," Lita said, leaning her head on his shoulder.  
  
"How about Cameron Pearce Hardy?" Matt asked.  
  
"Cameron Pearce," Lita mused. "And particular reason with Pierce?"  
  
"No," Matt said. "It just came to me. I figured that it was a sign from somewhere else."  
  
"Then it's settled," Lita said.  
  
Matt leaned down and pressed his head gently against Lita's slightly swollen stomach. "Nice to meet you Cameron Pearce Hardy." 


	11. Chapter Eleven

Title: "Only Hope" (11/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: Okay...this chapter will not be sad. It's probably going to be one of the three happiest chapters in the whole story!   
  
*  
  
September 2002  
  
*  
  
"You look beautiful," a soft voice said from the doorway.  
  
Lita spun around in surprise. Her face quickly broke out in a bright grin. "You came!" she exclaimed as she went to hug her friend.  
  
"I was invited to the wedding of two of the people I most like and admire," he said, "Of course I came."  
  
"I'm really glad," Lita said, hugging him again. "Matt and I haven't heard much from you since the whole Alliance thing."  
  
"I know," he said. "That's my fault. I knew you guys probably didn't care about what I had done but I needed to get away from wrestling for awhile."  
  
"Do you miss it?" Lita asked.  
  
"Yeah," he admitted. "But that part of my life is over."  
  
"You should talk to Vince," Lita said. "He would welcome you back."  
  
"After betraying him and the WWF?" he asked. "I don't think so. I meant to call Matt after I heard about what happened. But I couldn't."  
  
"He'll be glad to see you," Lita said. "He understands well what it's like to want to get away, I promise."  
  
"Okay," he said. He looked more closely at Lita. "I see a different kind of congratulations are in order. How far along are you?"  
  
"Six months," Lita said, beaming up at her friend. They both turned at a knock at the door to her bedroom. The door opened and Kurt peeked in.  
  
"They are ready when you are," Kurt said to Lita, barely noticing the other person in the room. He grinned at her. She was wearing a sleeveless light blue dress. The fabric was airy and he could tell it would swirl around her ankles when she walked. Her hair was all curled and piled atop her head. She was wearing Roman-style sandals. "You look great."  
  
"Thanks Kurt," Lita said.  
  
"What the hell is he doing here?" Lita's friend asked, his voice low and dangerous.  
  
"Hey, Kurt's my friend too," Lita said quickly, putting a restraining hand on her friend's arm. "He's been wonderful these past few months."  
  
"Hey man," Kurt said, stepping into the room farther. "I know that you have every reason to hate me. I put you out of business and all."  
  
"You sure did," Shane McMahon said lowly.  
  
"I thought I had to," Kurt said. "I thought it would be better for everyone."  
  
"Except me," Shane said.  
  
"Even you," Kurt said. "At least this way, your family has some chance at eventually reconciling."  
  
"Maybe," Shane said.  
  
"Truce?" Kurt asked, offering his hand to shake Shane's.  
  
Shane looked over at Lita and saw the hopeful look on his face. "Truce," he agreed, shaking Kurt's hand.  
  
"Stephanie is here," Lita said to Shane. "I'm sure she would like to see you."  
  
"What's Steph doing here?" Shane asked in shock.  
  
"She's Jericho's date," Lita said. "You had better go get a seat. We are ready to get this show on the road."  
  
"Yes ma'am," Shane said. He looked over at Kurt. "You coming?"  
  
"Um, no," Kurt said shyly.  
  
"He's walking me down the aisle," Lita said.  
  
"I see," Shane said. "Things sure have changed."  
  
"Don't disappear after the ceremony," Lita said.  
  
"I won't," Shane said. He kissed her lightly on the cheek before leaving the room.   
  
"You ready for this?" Kurt asked his friend as he offered her his arm.   
  
"I think so," Lita said, nodding at Kurt. "Thanks for walking me down the aisle Kurt."  
  
"Hey, don't mention it," Kurt said. "It's an honor."  
  
*  
  
Matt stood at the end of the aisle in a suit that was a light khaki color. He and Lita had decided to have a non-traditional wedding, since their wedding was not even close to traditional. Jeff stood next to Matt in a grey suit, looking uncharacteristically solemn.  
  
Jeff smiled at Trish as she walked down the aisle before Lita and Kurt. She smiled shyly at her boyfriend. Matt's smile brightened as he heard "The Wedding March" start playing on the piano on his porch.  
  
Lita had decided she wanted the wedding outside because all of the leaves were just starting to change colors. She looked around and decided she had made a good choice. It was definitely a day she would never forget.  
  
She and Kurt walked down the aisle slowly. Her eyes caught with Matt's and she beamed at him. Everyone agreed they had never seen Lita look so beautiful.  
  
"Who gives this woman away?" the preacher asked, when Lita and Kurt reached Matt.  
  
"I do," Kurt answered, giving Lita's hand to Matt.  
  
The ceremony started and all of the fifty or so people present listened intently. "Matt and Lita have decided to write their own vows," the preacher announced. "Matt, would you like to start?"  
  
"Lita," Matt said. "I knew from the moment I first held you in my arms that you were special. You may not have been aware it was me carrying you, you may have just been concentrating on getting away from Essa. But I knew from that moment that your fate and mine was intertwined. We've been through a lot. Luckily the good times outweigh the bad. When I look at you now I know what it's like to know peace and love. You've given me what only you could give me. I love you forever and always."  
  
"Lita?" the preacher asked after Matt finished.  
  
"You've always shocked me Matt Hardy," Lita said. "From that first kiss, you shocked me. And luckily it hasn't stopped. You make my life interesting and full. I look at you and see the man who took my heart and made it his own. I wouldn't be me without you and I will never forget you and all you've given me. I love you and I always will."  
  
Lita and Matt exchanged rings. "You may now kiss the bride," the preacher said.  
  
Matt and Lita's lips met in a soft kiss. "I love you," Matt whispered.   
  
"I love you too," Lita said.   
  
*  
  
"So what are you up to?" Shane asked, coming to stand next to Kurt.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked, looking over at Shane. He had been friends with Shane once-upon-a-time. He knew Shane was a decent guy but he had turned against him, probably to help Vince. He forgot why he had done it. It wasn't important anymore.  
  
"I mean you and the Hardys," Shane said. "You seem quite at home here."  
  
"Do you have a problem with that?" Kurt asked.  
  
"I have a problem with people who pretend to be what they are not," Shane said. "And I would hate to see the Hardys get hurt because they made a mistake in trusting you."  
  
"I would hate to see that too," Kurt said. "Because Matt, Jeff, and Lita are the best friends I have."  
  
"How did that happen?" Shane asked.  
  
"Strange circumstances make strange friends," Kurt shrugged. "Jeff's my trainer."  
  
"For what?" Shane asked.  
  
"The Olympics," Kurt answered. "I'm Lita's Lamaze partner. I wouldn't have done that if I didn't consider all of them friends."  
  
"Lamaze?" Shane asked. "Are you living here."  
  
"He lives with me," Jeff said, coming over with Trish.  
  
"Wow," Shane said. "Well, if you've really changed, then I'm glad. Everyone needs as many friends as they can get."  
  
"You okay?" Jeff asked after Shane walked away. "It looked like he was grilling you."  
  
"He's was looking out for you guys," Kurt said. He looked over at the dance floor that had been set up on the lawn. "Did you ever think you would see that?"  
  
Jeff and Trish looked to see Jericho with Stephanie in his arms. Her head was on his shoulder as they danced to a love song.  
  
"Yeah," Jeff and Trish answered together.  
  
"Me too," Kurt admitted. "It's nice to see what's supposed to happen does happen every now and then."  
  
"Like that?" Trish asked as she pointed to another couple.  
  
Despite her rather large belly, Matt and Lita looked perfect together as they danced.  
  
*  
  
A/N: I had to have a totally sappy chapter in here. I thought this was a good way to do it! Please review! I'll love you forever, I promise! 


	12. Chapter Twelve

Title: "Only Hope" (11/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: I'm giving you a warning now...this chapter has the potential to make you very sad. I just thought I'd let you know.  
  
*  
  
Mid-September 2002  
  
*  
  
"We're going for a jog," Jeff said to Matt after Kurt had finished his lifting routine for the day. "You want to come."  
  
Matt rolled his neck around as he thought about if he felt good enough for a jog. "Yeah, sounds good."  
  
"Great," Jeff said. "Two miles okay?"  
  
"As long as we only jog," Matt said. "I can only handle distance at a slower pace."  
  
"Lets go," Kurt said.  
  
The three jogged along together. They didn't feel a need to talk, they were just happy in each other's company. They had jogged this course several times since Kurt had moved to North Carolina.   
  
"Guys," Matt said as he immediately came to a stop.  
  
"Come on Matt!" Jeff called to his brother. "Don't be a wuss."  
  
"Stop!" Matt exclaimed again.  
  
Kurt and Jeff turned just in time to see Matt turn pasty white and lose consciousness. Kurt was able to dart toward Matt just in time to catch him before he hit the ground.  
  
"Matt?" Jeff asked, kneeling next to Kurt and Matt on the ground. He gently smacked Matt's face. "Matt!"  
  
"Jeff, yelling is not going to solve anything," Kurt said. "Run back and get your car. I'll start carrying Matt back."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Jeff said.   
  
"And call Lita and your Dad," Kurt said.  
  
"Yeah," Jeff said, already running back towards his house.   
  
Kurt picked Matt into his arms. He wanted to hope that Matt had just been pushing himself too far since the wedding. But Kurt knew deep in his heart that Matt's condition had changed.   
  
Matt had taken a turn for the worse.  
  
*  
  
Lita sat in the plastic chair next to Matt's hospital bed. She looked at his face. The doctors had said that Matt needed to be in constant supervision now. Three appointments with the doctor wasn't enough anymore.  
  
"God Matt," Lita whispered. "How will you deal with being stuck in here."  
  
"I won't," Matt whispered back to her.  
  
"The doctors say they want you under constant supervision," Lita said. "Daily observation and other words that I let slip right by me."  
  
"It's going to be okay," Matt assured Lita.  
  
"How can you say that?" Lita asked. "It's not going to be okay! Because in the end you die! That is not okay!"  
  
"You don't have to stay," Matt said softly. "If it really hurts you that bad you can go."  
  
"No," Lita sighed. "I guess I fooled myself. For so long you were fine. And I was so complacent. It's hit me all over again. And pregnant women are allowed to be emotional."  
  
"I guess you are allowed to be emotional," Matt said.  
  
"You can't work out with Jeff and Kurt anymore," Lita said. "The doctors want you to take it way easy."  
  
"Okay," Matt said. "But I do not want to spend the rest of my life in a hospital. I want to die at home."  
  
"Don't say that," Lita said. "You still have time."  
  
"I know I do sweetie," Matt said. "But if I stay in here I won't have much more."  
  
"Okay," Lita said. "I'll figure out a way to get you home."  
  
"Thank you Lita," Matt said. "I think it would be better for everyone. I mean you shouldn't be in the hospital everyday, that's not a good environment for you and the baby."  
  
"I guess not," Lita said. She leaned her head down on his hand. "This was scary Matt."  
  
"I know," Matt said. "I'm sorry you have to go through this."  
  
"Me too," Lita said. "You don't deserve this."  
  
"Neither do you," Matt said.  
  
*  
  
"Hello, I'm Georgia Hanks," a middle-aged woman said when Lita opened the front door of the house. "I'm here to take care of...Matthew Moore Hardy."  
  
"Come in," Lita said, opening the door for the woman to come into the house. "I'm Lita Hardy, Matt's wife."  
  
"He's married?" Georgia asked.  
  
"Yeah," Lita said. "And he has a baby on the way."  
  
Georgia looked at Lita's stomach and smiled. "I'm sure he'll want to stay around for that. Can I meet the patient?"  
  
"Of course," Lita said. "He's back in the den watching "Star Wars" with his dad."  
  
"Does his father live here too?" Georgia asked.  
  
"Yeah," Lita said. "We traveled a lot when we were working so it was pretty silly for him to get his own house. It would have cost an arm and a leg to get a house sitter and his dad was here anyways."  
  
"I see," Georgia said. "And you two met on the job?"  
  
"Because of the job anyways," Lita said. "I met them years ago when I was first training and then we somehow all ended up in the WWF."  
  
"WWF? All?" Georgia asked.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," Lita said. "All of us means Matt, his brother Jeff, and I. We were all in the WWF, the World Wrestling Federation."  
  
"Oh," Georgia said. "Eventually Matt will probably need a hospital bed somewhere in the house. You and I can look for a good place to put it later."  
  
"Why would he need a hospital bed?" Lita asked.  
  
"It reclines and lifts," the nurse said. "He will need that when he doesn't have the strength to sit up by himself anymore."  
  
"Okay," Lita said. "Will you be the only nurse?"  
  
"I'll be the nurse during the days Monday through Friday," Georgia said. "There will be another woman who will work every night and one more woman who will come in on the weekends."  
  
"Okay," Lita said.  
  
"I know it's hard," Georgia said. "You want to be able to take care of him. But the sad fact is that he is beyond your care now."  
  
"Yeah," Lita said.  
  
*  
  
"It's hard to believe this is the last autumn I'm ever going to see," Matt said.  
  
"Man," Jeff sighed. "Don't talk like that."  
  
Matt, Jeff, and Kurt were sitting on the porch watching the sunset. Lita, in the throws of a bout of maternal instincts, was cooking dinner for everyone.   
  
"Why pretend that I'm okay?" Matt asked Jeff. "Why not just accept that I'm going to die?"  
  
"You can accept it but you don't need to bring it up all the time," Jeff said. Matt cocked his head at the angry tone in Jeff's voice.  
  
"Man," Matt said. "You okay?"  
  
"No," Jeff said. "You remember what it was like to lose Mom?"  
  
"Yeah, of course," Matt said.  
  
"Well, multiply it by a hundred and then you'll know how painful this is for me," Jeff said, getting up to pace the porch.   
  
"It's hard for me too Jeff," Matt said. "I have such great family and friends that I don't want to leave behind. I have a wife who I love more than anyone I've ever know. And I have a son coming. You think it's easy for me to know that my son will never know me?"  
  
Jeff turned to his brother, tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry Matt. I shouldn't be making you feel guilty. It's just hard."  
  
"I know," Matt said. "The only thing that makes it bearable at all is that I know you and Kurt will look after Lita and Cameron when I'm gone."  
  
"Of course we will," Kurt said. He hadn't felt comfortable speaking when the brothers had been talking earlier. He didn't know how to voice his emotions well. But the prospect of Matt dying, and dying soon, was heartwrenching to him. Matt was one of his closest friends now. It made him wonder what the point of everything he was doing was.  
  
"Thanks," Matt said, smiling at Kurt. "And I expect you to keep on training Kurt. I want you to go win that gold."  
  
"I'll try my damnedest," Kurt promised.  
  
"Good," Matt said. He turned back to Jeff. "I want you to promise that you will not let your life come to a grinding halt when I die. I want you to live and be wild like you are. I want you to go ahead and marry Trish like I know you want to. Don't stop because I'm not going to be around."  
  
"Okay," Jeff promised, not ashamed of the tears streaming down his face. Matt stood up and pulled Jeff into an embrace.  
  
"I'll always be with you man," Matt said.  
  
Kurt walked off the porch and into the house to let Matt and Jeff have their moment. But it helped to know Matt would always be with Jeff and Lita. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Title: "Only Hope" (13/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: I don't know how to describe the emotions you might go through in this chapter to be honest. It kind of just moves the plot along, shouldn't be too sad.  
  
*  
  
October 2002  
  
*  
  
"You can do it," Jeff said, patting Kurt on the back.  
  
"He's all power," Kurt said to himself. He looked at the man he would oppose in ten minutes. He was just coming out of college. Kurt was optimistic, but he had to admit he was nearly a decade older than most of the guys he was wrestling.  
  
Kurt jumped up and down a couple times. It was a habit of his. It probably kept his muscles warm and that was probably why he had started doing it in high school.  
  
Jeff's cell phone rang. He grabbed it out of his back pocket. "Hello?"  
  
Kurt rolled his neck around. He kept thinking he needed to keep moving throughout the entire match. Get the Incredible Hulk tired early on and he should be able to win.  
  
"What?" Jeff asked in shock. Kurt's head snapped over toward Jeff. "She's two months early Matt!"  
  
"What's going on?" Kurt asked Jeff.  
  
Jeff held up his hand as he continued to listen to Matt. "Yeah, Kurt's got a match in a minute. We'll come right after that."  
  
"What's up?" Kurt asked anxiously when Jeff hung up the phone.  
  
"Lita thinks she's going into labor," Jeff said.  
  
"She's not due until Christmas," Kurt said.  
  
"I know," Jeff said.  
  
"Christ in heaven," Kurt said. "Lets get out of here."  
  
"You have to wrestle," Jeff said.  
  
"I think this guy will understand," Kurt said. "It's not like we were actually wrestling for anything. He just wanted a chance to beat me."  
  
"If you say so," Jeff shrugged.  
  
"I'll go explain," Kurt said. "Do you think you could grab my stuff?"  
  
"Yeah," Jeff said. "I'll meet you by the car."  
  
*  
  
Kurt and Jeff ran into the maternity ward of the hospital. "Jeff! Kurt!" Matt called.  
  
"Is she okay?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Are we too late?" Kurt asked.  
  
"How's the baby?" Jeff asked.  
  
"How are you?" Kurt asked.  
  
Matt held his hands in front of him to stop the barrage of questions. "One at a time guys!"  
  
"Sorry," Jeff said. "Can we see Lita?"  
  
"She'll be out in just a few seconds," Matt said. "We're going home."  
  
"They wouldn't send her home so soon," Jeff said.  
  
"It was a false alarm," Matt said. "Lita and the baby are fine. Lita's just a little embarrassed."  
  
"And you?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I'm okay," Matt said. "It's a little too much excitement for my body, but don't tell Lita. It will make her feel worse."  
  
"Okay," Jeff said.  
  
"How was the match?" Matt asked.  
  
"We left," Kurt said. "I have a rematch next weekend."  
  
"You left?" Matt asked. He started laughing.  
  
"Hi guys," Lita said softly as she came out of the hospital room.  
  
"Hey," Kurt and Jeff said together.  
  
"You ready to go home sweetie?" Matt asked.  
  
"Yeah," Lita said.  
  
"Don't do that ever again!" Jeff finally exclaimed, engulfing his embarrassed friend in a bear hug. "Poor Kurt had to pray for his life while I drove us here as fast as I could."  
  
"I'm sorry," Lita said. She smiled though.  
  
"You couldn't help it," Kurt said. "We're just relieved you and Cameron are okay."  
  
"Damn straight," Jeff said, pulling away from Lita.  
  
"Hey!" Matt exclaimed. "What your mouth around my son. I can still kick your ass if I need to."  
  
"I'm shaking in my boots," Jeff said jovially. "How about we order Chinese take-out?"  
  
"Why?" Lita asked.  
  
"Because we all like it," Jeff said. "And we all deserve it. Except Kurt. He can't eat it."  
  
"Why not?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Aren't you in training?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I can still eat meat!" Kurt exclaimed.  
  
"Well then," Jeff said. "Kurt can eat with us. I'll drop by Lucky Wok on the way home."  
  
"Make sure Kurt doesn't change," Lita giggled.  
  
Kurt looked down and realized he was still in the blue singlet he had been about to wrestle in. "Thanks a lot," Kurt said.  
  
"It's nice you guys care enough to be in such a hurry," Lita said. "We'll see you back at the house."  
  
*  
  
"That's disgusting Jeff!" Lita exclaimed as Jeff made her watch some B horror movie. "I don't think this is good for me or the baby!"  
  
Matt joined Kurt and Jeff in laughter. He wished everything could stay the way it was. But it couldn't. He had a feeling things would change drastically after he was gone. He wished there was a way he could soften the blow for everyone. 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Title: "Only Hope" (14/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: Once again, I don't know how to describe the emotions you might go through in this chapter to be honest. It kind of just moves the plot along, shouldn't be too sad. And there's a revelation that might have been apparent to you already. Enjoy!  
  
*  
  
November 2002  
  
*  
  
"I guess Trish and Jeff will be the godparents," Lita said.  
  
"Well, yeah, Trish definitely," Matt said. He and Lita were on the porch swing, holding hands.   
  
"Jeff has got to be the godfather," Lita said. "I mean there's no one who is closer to us. He might be hurt if we chose anyone else."  
  
"I don't know Lita," Matt said. "Jeff's going to be his uncle forever. Nothing will ever change that. I think the godfather should be someone who may not have another reason for looking after Cam."  
  
"You're already calling him Cam," Lita said, sighing happily. "Doesn't it almost feel like he's already here with us."  
  
"I think he is here with us," Matt joked as he placed his hand on her stomach. "Big as life."  
  
"You're telling me," Lita said. "I'm the one that has to lug him around every day."  
  
"You're beautiful," Matt said honestly to her.  
  
"Thank you," Lita said, smiling at her husband. "I think pregnant women need to hear that every once in a while.  
  
"I'll be sure to tell you every day," Matt said. "You know, I know you feel fat and everything. But the fact that you are carrying life within you makes you that much more beautiful to me."  
  
"Okay," Lita said. "But I still think I'm fat."  
  
"Fine," Matt said. He smiled and lightly kissed her lips. "Back to what we were talking about Beautiful."  
  
"I still think Jeff should be the godfather," Lita said.   
  
"Why not attach another person to him?" Matt asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Lita asked.  
  
"I mean that Jeff will always feel responsibility toward Cameron because he's family," Matt said. "And more than that, he's a part of me. Jeff will probably be the most involved uncle you've ever seen."  
  
"Okay," Lita said, uncertain where Matt was headed.  
  
"I agree with you about Trish because Trish really is a good person," Matt said. "She's also unrelated to the family. There may be some time down the road where she breaks up with Jeff. In that case, she doesn't have to cut her ties with Cam, because she's tied to him in another way."  
  
"That kind of makes sense," Lita said.  
  
"I just think the more people who feel...not responsible for Cam, but tied to Cam, the better," Matt said. "I think it would alleviate a lot of the worry if there were at least three people attached to him besides us."  
  
"Okay," Lita said. "Who do you think then?"  
  
"Do you really need to ask?" Matt asked.  
  
"So you think Kurt?" Lita asked.  
  
"I think Kurt," Matt confirmed.  
  
"He would be my choice after Jeff," Lita said, nodding her head.  
  
"Can you see my reasoning?" Matt asked.  
  
"Of course I can," Lita said. "You make perfect sense. Sometimes I really hate that about you."  
  
"I guess you've just learned to live with it?" Matt asked.  
  
"Something like that," Lita said. The breeze made her shiver. "Sweetie, we should get you inside now."  
  
"Okay Mom," Matt said, smiling goofily at her.  
  
"Will you tell Jeff?" Lita asked.  
  
"Yeah," Matt said. "I'll tell Kurt too."  
  
*  
  
"Hey you all," Matt said as he opened the door to the house. He let Jeff, Kurt, and Trish into the house. "Come on in."  
  
"How's the food looking?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Lita's cooking," Matt said.  
  
"Scary," Jeff commented.  
  
"Kind of like your hair," Matt said.   
  
"I'll go see if I can help out," Trish said. She took Jeff's hand in hers and pulled her with him towards the kitchen.  
  
"I guess I'll be seeing if I can help too," Jeff said, letting Trish pull him along.  
  
"Should I see too?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Nah," Matt said. "You know that saying about two many cooks ruining the turkey."  
  
"I think it was soup," Kurt said.  
  
"But not on Thanksgiving," Matt said. "On Thanksgiving it's different."  
  
"I see," Kurt said. "Any good games on?"  
  
"The Lions and the Packers later," Matt said. "I actually wanted to talk to you Kurt. How about we go into the game room?"  
  
"Okay," Kurt said, following Matt.  
  
Matt sat down on the leather couch and Kurt sat in the recliner. "So what's up?"  
  
"Lita and I have been talking about what's going to happen when Cameron is born," Matt said. "And we've decided we want you to be the godfather."  
  
"Me?" Kurt asked in shock.  
  
"Yeah," Matt said.  
  
"What about Jeff?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Jeff's going to love Cam no matter what," Matt said. "I want you to know that I want you to be a part of Cam's life."  
  
"Of course I will be," Kurt said.  
  
"And I want you to be his godfather," Matt said. "I think it would be good if had a presence like yours around. I mean, I love Jeff a lot, but he's kind of crazy."  
  
"I think the past has shown that I may not be the best influence," Kurt said.  
  
"Don't worry about the past so much Kurt," Matt said. "You're a good friend and you're very focused. That would be good for any boy to see."  
  
"I don't know," Kurt said. "It's such a big responsibility. What if I screw up?"  
  
"Then I'll come back and haunt you," Matt said, his face deadpan.  
  
"Oh shit," Kurt said.  
  
"I'm just kidding man," Matt said. "You won't screw anything up."  
  
"How can you know?" Kurt asked. "I could be the worst father-like figure in the history of father-figures."  
  
"I think that award goes to Vince," Matt said. "You'll do a good job Kurt."  
  
"How do you know?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Because you love Lita," Matt said simply.  
  
"What?" Kurt asked, his blue eyes wide with shock.  
  
"You heard me," Matt said. "I know that you love Lita and you would do your best to make sure everything in her life was as good as it could get. You would make sure Cam was safe and healthy for her."  
  
"I don't love Lita," Kurt protested. "I mean, I do, but not in that way."  
  
"I'm not mad Kurt," Matt said. "You don't need to deny it."  
  
"I'm not denying anything," Kurt said. "I'm flat out telling you..."  
  
"What?" Matt asked.  
  
"Why aren't you mad?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Because you haven't acted on your feelings," Matt said. "You've kept them hidden around Lita really well. You never tried to get her."  
  
"So?" Kurt asked.  
  
"You really care about her because you know that would tear her up if you told her," Matt said. "And you care for me too. You don't want to cause me any pain. It's hard to fault you there. And I understand falling in love with her."  
  
"She's kind of amazing," Kurt nodded.  
  
"It's actually comforting to know that I'm leaving you with her," Matt said. "That you'll be here and you'll make sure she takes care of herself."  
  
"I'd do that anyways," Kurt said.  
  
"I know," Matt said. "But this way it's more than honoring my memory. This way it's taking care of someone you love."  
  
"I still wish you weren't sick," Kurt said.  
  
"Join the club," Matt said. "So will you do it?"  
  
"Do what?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Will you be Cam's godfather?" Matt asked.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt said. "But it's your fault if this turns out to be a huge mistake." 


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Title: "Only Hope" (15/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: I use Whitney Houston's "Didn't We Almost Have it All?" in this chapter. This is a major huge chapter. Two big, big things happen. One is very happy and the other is very sad. Okay, that's it. Enjoy.  
  
*  
  
Christmas Day 2002  
  
*  
  
"Who the hell actually has their baby on the day it was actually due?" Lita asked angrily.  
  
"Whoa Lita," Jeff said, pulling away from the redhead. "That was my had you were trying to squeeze the life out of."  
  
"Then keep it away from me!" Lita exclaimed. "Can we get this car to the hospital any faster Kurt?"  
  
"Don't yell at me Lita," Kurt said. "I'm not going to drive at light speed. You've got plenty of time left."  
  
"But the sooner I get there, the sooner I get drugs!" Lita exclaimed.  
  
Lita heard a low chuckle from the passenger seat. Her face instantly softened. Matt was sitting quietly, just listening to everything. He was quiet a lot anymore. "You want my hand baby?" Matt asked, reaching back to her.  
  
"I might break it," Lita said.  
  
"That's okay with me," Matt said.  
  
"No," Lita said. "I don't want to break you're hand. I want you to be able to hold your son. Because I sure as hell am not."  
  
"Sure," Jeff said as he rifled around in the bag he had brought with him.  
  
"What the hell are you doing Jeff Hardy?" Lita asked, when she saw what Jeff was pulling out of his bag.  
  
"What does it look like?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I'm so glad you can't come into the delivery room," Lita said. "Because you are not, and I repeat, are not videotaping me while I give birth!"  
  
"Aw, why not?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Because I don't feel the need to have a tape that will force me to relive this horrendous experience," Lita said between gritted teeth.  
  
"We're almost there," Kurt called out.  
  
"Thank God," Lita sighed.  
  
*  
  
"Breathe Lita," Kurt said.  
  
"Go to hell," Lita said, breathing anyways. "I've been breathing for four damn hours."  
  
"That's the way it goes sometimes," Kurt said helplessly.  
  
"How the hell would you know?" Lita asked. "You're a man."  
  
"Sorry," Kurt said.  
  
"Don't let her bully you Kurt," Matt said, from the chair he was sitting in. He watched from the corner of the room so he wouldn't get in the way of anything."  
  
"Yeah, beat her up!" Jeff said, perched on a chair by the window.  
  
"You two just shut your mouths now," Lita said, grunting angrily.  
  
"How are things going in here?" Dr. Hansen asked as she breezed into the room. She examined Lita and said, "It's time for you to have this baby. Let's get you into delivery."  
  
"You are my hero," Lita said.  
  
"I get that a lot," Dr. Hansen said. "Who's coming in with us?"  
  
"Matt and Kurt," Jeff said.  
  
"Oh right," Dr. Hansen said. "You two just go get some scrubs on and we'll get you in there."  
  
*  
  
"Cameron Pearce Hardy," Matt whispered as he held his son in his arms. He had been born at 11:46 pm on Christmas night. "How are you doing?"  
  
Cameron slept peacefully in Matt's arms. He was ten hours hold. Matt couldn't get enough of his son. However, he had to sit when he held him and he could only hold him for about ten minutes before his arms felt ready to fall off.  
  
Lita smiled at Matt and Cameron from her bed. They made a very pretty picture. She looked over at her bedside table and picked up the camera that Jeff had left in there. She turned it on, never letting Matt know that she was taping them.  
  
Matt looked up to see the camera focused on Cameron and himself. He smiled before he introduced the camera to his son. "Can you wave at Mommy Cam?"  
  
Jeff and Kurt came in and each stopped at the door. Jeff felt such conflicting emotions in that moment. He loved his brother and was very happy. But he also knew that there wasn't much time left.  
  
"Hey guys," Matt said, noticing Kurt and Jeff. "Come on in."  
  
Jeff walked over to Matt and took Cameron out of his arms. Matt smiled gratefully at his brother. Jeff walked around with Cameron in his arms. "He looks just like you Matt."  
  
"Doesn't he?" Lita asked happily.  
  
"Hopefully he'll have my winning personality too," Matt said.  
  
"I don't think I could take that," Lita said, grinning at Matt. He slowly got out of his chair and walked over to Lita's bed. He sat on the edge and draped his arm around her shoulder.  
  
"I love you," Matt said.  
  
"I love you too," Lita said.  
  
*  
  
Matt heard Cameron screaming bloody murder. He wished he could get up and help Lita but he couldn't seem to move.  
  
"Shh," Lita said as she looked anxiously at Matt. He needed his rest. "Cameron, be a good little boy and shush."  
  
"I'm awake," Matt said.  
  
"You should sleep baby," Lita said.  
  
"Let me hold him," Matt said.   
  
"Matt," Lita said, her voice brimming with uncertainty.  
  
"Please," Matt said.  
  
"Okay," Lita said. She walked over to the hospital bed she and Georgia had decided to put in the living room so Matt could lie down while people were over.  
  
"He's so perfect," Matt said in awe. It had been two week since Cameron had been born. Matt had tried so hard to stay strong. But it was getting harder and harder.  
  
  
*  
//Didn't we almost have it all?  
When love was all we had worth giving  
The ride with you was worth the fall, my friend  
Loving you makes love worth living //  
  
"It's time to get you back in your bed," Lita said to Matt softly.  
  
"Not yet," Matt said, his arms securely around Lita. "Let me stay here with you for a little longer."  
  
"Okay," Lita said. "Cam should be asleep for awhile."  
  
"Have I ever told you that you are the most amazing person I've ever known?" Matt asked.  
  
"Once or twice," Lita said.  
  
"I'll always love you Lita," Matt said softly.  
  
"I know," Lita said.  
  
"I just wanted to tell you," Matt said.  
  
Lita thought his breathing sounded a little labored. "Lets get you back in bed Matt."  
  
"No," Matt said firmly. "Just a few more minutes."  
  
"Matt?" Lita asked, her voice quavering.  
  
"I'll always be with you Lita," Matt said. "I want you to know that you will never be alone."  
  
"Don't talk like that," Lita said, tears choking her throat. "Not now."  
  
"Now," Matt said sadly. "You've been the best part of my life."  
  
"Matt," Lita said brokenly.  
  
"I love you," Matt said.  
  
"I love you too," Lita said, tears flowing down her cheeks.  
  
"Let me hold you," Matt said. Lita nodded as she leaned against him.  
  
She felt Matt's breathing slow and eventually stop. She held her own breath for several moments. She closed her eyes and sobbed silently. "I love you Matt Hardy." 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Title: "Only Hope" (16/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: This chapter is kind of follow up on the last chapter so it's sad, but not as sad as the last chapter. Sorry for not making it clear that the story was not over. It's actually going to go about another eight or nine chapters.  
  
*  
  
Lita kneeled in front of the tombstone that she had visited everyday for two weeks. "I can't believe you are gone Matt," she whispered. "I thought it might start getting easier, especially since I knew that you were going to die. I thought maybe I might be able to move on a little sooner than most.  
  
"That hasn't happened. I love you so much and it feels like someone ripped a huge gaping hole in my heart. God, I don't have any clue why, when I was finally perfectly happy, why I couldn't have that for longer than a blink of an eye. Why couldn't we have more time together?"  
  
Jeff watched Lita from several yards away. Cameron cooed in his arms and he looked down and smiled at the boy. "Hey Cam," he whispered, not wanting to wake Kurt who seemed to be dozing on the nearby bench.  
  
Cameron grinned up at his uncle. Jeff thought that there had been several good things about the proceeding months which had been basically painful. The best thing was Cameron. Jeff could already tell that he would look just like Matt. Jeff wondered if that would cause them more pain than joy. He shook his head, knowing that Cameron would never cause them anything but joy.  
  
Another good thing was how strong it had made the relationships between Lita, Jeff, and Kurt. They depended on each other like they had never imagined they would. Jeff and Kurt had started taking shifts where they could go and check on Cameron and Lita and make sure everything was going well.  
  
It was time for a change. Jeff knew that his father loved Lita and Cameron, but he knew his dad needed some time to mourn and that was hard to do with a newborn in the house.   
  
"Kurt?" Jeff asked softly, hoping Kurt was just resting his eyes.  
  
"Yeah?" Kurt asked. Jeff winced because Kurt sounded so tired. Kurt hadn't stopped training at all. He had taken one day off for the funeral. He had promised Matt he would keep going and he had no intention of going back on his promise.  
  
"What would you think if I invited Lita and Cam to move in with us?" Jeff asked tentatively. He wasn't sure Kurt would be able to handle having a baby in the house.  
  
"That would make things so much easier," Kurt said, heaving a sigh of relief.  
  
"What do you mean?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I mean, we wouldn't have to go over to your dad's house to check on Lita," Kurt said. "We could watch both of them better if they were right there."  
  
"Good," Jeff said. "You sure you'll be able to handle having a child who doesn't sleep through the night in the house?"  
  
"Jeff, I can sleep through anything," Kurt said.   
  
"That's true," Jeff said.  
  
"I think it would be best for everyone," Kurt said. He stood up and stretched his arms above his head. "And we wouldn't want to take the chance that she would move to her house in Charlotte or even back to Florida."  
  
"I had never thought about that," Jeff said.  
  
"Because you don't think," Kurt offered.  
  
"Thanks a lot man," Jeff said.  
  
"You guys really don't need to come here with me everyday," Lita said as she walked back over to them.  
  
"It's kind of nice actually," Jeff said.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt seconded.  
  
"I'm sure you have better things to do," Lita said. She looked at Kurt pointedly. "Like sleep."  
  
"I sleep just fine when it's time to sleep," Kurt said defensively.  
  
"Sure you do," Lita said. "And I'm sure that's why you were taking a nap on a stone bench."  
  
"I was just...resting my eyes," Kurt said.  
  
"Sure you were," Lita said. She walked to Jeff and took Cameron from his arms.  
  
Cameron giggled happily as Lita took him into her arms. Lita smiled at the thought that Cameron already realized that she was his mother. "Hey Mr. Man."  
  
"Lita, Kurt and I want to talk to you about something," Jeff said.  
  
"What's up?" Lita asked.  
  
"We think you and Cam should move in with us," Jeff said.  
  
"Yeah right," Lita snorted. "That's the last thing you two need...a widow and a newborn."  
  
"Regardless of what we need," Jeff said. "It's what we want. We want you to be around so we can all be there for each other."  
  
"I really appreciate the gesture," Lita said. "But I'll figure something out. I might move back to Charlotte. I still have a house there you know."  
  
"I know," Jeff said. "But we don't want you to be far away. I personally like having you close by."  
  
"Me too," Kurt said. "I like know I can get to you quickly in the case of an emergency."  
  
"We can figure something out," Lita said. "But that would encroach on both of your lives."  
  
"It would make my life easier because I wouldn't lose time traveling," Kurt said. "And I would worry about you two a lot less."  
  
"And I would have my man Cam everywhere," Jeff said. "What could be better than that?"  
  
"You're serious?" Lita asked in shock.  
  
"As a heart attack," Jeff said.  
  
"Well, as long as you both are sure it wouldn't totally disrupt your lives," Lita said.  
  
"I'd love to have you guys," Jeff said.  
  
"Me too," Kurt said. "Even if it is Jeff's house."  
  
"Okay," Lita said.  
  
"Great!" Jeff said. "We'll start arranging everything tomorrow."  
  
*  
  
"I'm not taking your bedroom Jeff!" Lita exclaimed.  
  
"It's the one closest to Cam," Jeff said. "I figured you would want to be close to the nursery."  
  
"I do," Lita said. "How about we move a bed into the nursery and I'll stay with him."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous," Jeff said.  
  
"I don't want to put you out Jeff," Lita said.  
  
"I have plenty of rooms Lita," Jeff said. "I kind of like the idea of my room having a balcony and that's hard to do on the bottom floor."  
  
"Are you sure?" Lita asked uncertainly.  
  
"Stop asking that," Jeff said. "You are family Lita, you could never impose even if you wanted to."  
  
"I'm sure that's far from the truth," Lita said. "But okay."  
  
"Great!" Jeff said.  
  
"So you already have everything moved in for Cam?" Lita asked.  
  
"Yeah," Jeff said. "I figured that was the priority."  
  
"Yeah," Lita agreed. "Where's Kurt?"  
  
"Running," Jeff said. "Nine miles a day now."  
  
"How does that help him?" Lita asked. "I would think that would cause him to lose mass."  
  
"Maybe if he didn't lift like a maniac and eat only protein and calcium," Jeff said. "The man is a machine."  
  
"Really?" Lita asked.  
  
"Yeah," Jeff said. "Lets start unpacking your stuff."  
  
"Yes sir," Lita said, smiling as she and Jeff got to work. 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Title: "Only Hope" (17/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: This chapter isn't sad at all. This starts about five months after the last chapter and everyone is starting to move on with their lives. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
*  
  
June 2003  
  
*  
  
"What do you mean you are going back to work?" Kurt asked Jeff. They were in the gym that they had built over the past year in Jeff's patio area.  
  
"I mean, it's time for me to get back to work," Jeff said. "Vince has been really supportive of me staying here and helping Lita, but I need to start working again."  
  
"Is is a money issue?" Kurt asked, continuing to pedal the stationary bike he was on. "Because if you want me to start paying rent then I will."  
  
"Kurt, you already pay all of the utilities and you paid for all of this equipment," Jeff said. "And, I'm a better wrestler now because of you."  
  
"You've got a point there," Kurt said. "Still."  
  
"You know how you felt like you had to train to get to the Olympics next year?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt said.  
  
"That's how I feel about going back to the WWF," Jeff said. "I haven't been in a wrestling match in well over a year, but I'm in the best shape of my life. It's time for me to go back."  
  
"I wish you would stay around," Kurt said. "Wait! You're my trainer!"  
  
"Please," Jeff snorted. "I stopped being a trainer to you about four months ago. You've trained yourself Kurt. And you have done it well. You've won every match you've been in recently pretty easily."  
  
"But it's nice to have you there," Kurt said.  
  
"I'll do my best to get to every match you have Kurt," Jeff said. "It's not like I'm going to the other side of the globe. I'll be working a lot less than I used to also because there are two rosters now."  
  
"Which one are you going to?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Trish's, if I can," Jeff said. "So SmackDown."  
  
"You'll have more fun there anyways," Kurt said. "They are doing some great wrestling on that roster."  
  
"I know," Jeff said.  
  
"How is Trish?" Kurt asked. "She hasn't been around recently."  
  
"She's doing okay," Jeff said. "She's been doing a lot of promotional stuff. A lot of the stuff Lita, Matt, and I used to do."  
  
"How's Lita going to handle you leaving?" Kurt asked.  
  
"She handled it just fine," Jeff shrugged.  
  
"You told her first?" Kurt asked in shock.  
  
"Kurt, you may be my best friend," Jeff said. "But Lita is my sister. I tell her a lot of things first."  
  
"And she's comfortable living in a house with just me?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Why wouldn't she be?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I don't know," Kurt said. "Sometimes women get uncomfortable for the strangest reasons."  
  
"Yeah they do," Jeff grinned.  
  
"What are you boys talking about in here?" Lita asked as she walked into the room with a plate with sandwiches on it and a pitcher of water.  
  
"Nothing much," Jeff said, getting off of the treadmill he had been walking on.   
  
"Well, you guys go ahead and dig in," Lita said, motioning to the plate. "I'll go get Cam and glasses."  
  
Kurt got off of the bike and went to clean the sweat off of him. "I still can't stand this humidity. But it probably helps my endurance even more."  
  
"Is it humid in Greece?" Jeff asked.  
  
"I don't know," Kurt answered honestly.  
  
"How awesome would it be to win a gold medal in Greece?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Pretty damn awesome," Kurt agreed. He settled onto the ground next to Jeff as Lita walked back into the room with Cameron on one arm and plastic glasses in the other hand. "Thanks for the food Red."  
  
"Yeah sure," Lita said, shrugging. "It's only sandwiches."  
  
"Which is a god-send after we get done working out," Jeff said. He picked up one of the sandwiches and started scarfing it down.  
  
"That's attractive," Lita said sarcastically. "You might want to learn how to eat politely before you and Trish see each other again."  
  
"Thanks a lot," Jeff said, mid-bite. Kurt groaned in disgust. Jeff grinned at him. "You know you like it!"  
  
"Think again," Kurt said.  
  
"It might be peaceful to not have you around," Lita said.  
  
"No kidding," Kurt said. "I take back all of my protests."  
  
"Jerk," Jeff grumbled.  
  
"You know you like it," Kurt mimicked his friend.  
  
"I will miss you guys," Jeff said honestly. "Even if I am only gone like three days a week. I'll especially miss Cam. He doesn't make fun of me."  
  
"I didn't realize you were such a big baby before," Lita said. "You really do put Cameron to shame you know?"  
  
"I know," Jeff said proudly. "So everyone is okay with me going back?"  
  
*  
  
July 2002  
  
*  
  
The crowd roared to its feet as they heard the Hardy Boyz music play. They saw the Titan Tron video that played a new video filled with clips of Jeff, Matt, and Lita.  
  
Kurt and Lita sat in the front row at the arena in Charlotte. Kurt looked over to see tears in Lita's eyes as Jeff came down the ramp.  
  
He slid into the ring and motioned for a microphone. "Hey ya'll," he said after a lot of the commotion had died down. It had been kept really quiet that Jeff was coming back. A lot of wrestlers didn't even have a clue.  
  
"I know I don't get in here and talk that often," Jeff started, "but I just wanted to thank every single fan in this arena and every fan out there in TV Land for all of the tremendous support you have given me and my sister-in-law, Lita. We really appreciate all of the cards and the donations to the charity we have set up in Matt's honor.  
  
"I would like to show you a picture of the smallest Hardy Boy," Jeff said, pointing to the Titan Tron. A picture of a smiling Cameron covered the screen. "Cameron Pearce Hardy couldn't come to the arena tonight but I wanted to show you that Matt and Lita had a healthy baby boy."  
  
Lita watched the rest of the night with the same interest that she used to when she had been backstage. She had thought her desire to be a wrestler had died with Matt. Her life wrestling had been so tied up in her relationship with Matt that she had been unable to think about wrestling without him around.  
  
"I want to come back," Lita said.  
  
"Okay," Kurt said, hearing her whisper. "We can talk to Vince."  
  
"I'm not fit to come back yet," Lita sighed. "I need a while to get back into it all. I want Cameron to be a little older too because he would have to come on the road with me."  
  
"I can help you train to go back," Kurt said.  
  
"I couldn't ask you to do that," Lita said.  
  
"Of course you could," Kurt said. "I mean, I'm training myself everyday. It wouldn't impose on me in any way."  
  
"You sure?" Lita asked.  
  
"I'm positive," Kurt said.  
  
"Okay," Lita said. "Lets do it." 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Title: "Only Hope" (18/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: This chapter is not sad I promise. The fic is going to be skipping over months at a time because I'm just trying to highlight important stuff. Also, I finally gave Jeff and Matt's dad a name in this chapter...I'm too lazy to actually go look it up, so in my story he is named Gil. Enjoy!  
  
*  
  
Halloween 2003  
  
*  
  
"A pumpkin?" Jeff asked over the phone.   
  
Kurt laughed at the distressed sound in Jeff's voice. "Yeah," Kurt said.  
  
"She dressed him as a pumpkin?" Jeff asked again. "I can't believe she did that to him."  
  
"What would you have dressed him up as?" Kurt asked. "A vampire?"  
  
"No!" Jeff exclaimed. "Well, maybe."  
  
"He's not even one," Kurt said.  
  
"So?" Jeff asked.  
  
"You're crazy man," Kurt said.  
  
"Well, take pictures," Jeff said. "I wish I could be there, but..."  
  
"Lita and I both understand that you've got a job to do Jeff," Kurt assured his friend. "What are you and Trish doing tonight?"  
  
"We're going to the ring together," Jeff said. "I'm going to be all in red and have devil horns on and a little pitchfork. She'll be all in white with a halo on."  
  
"Cute," Kurt said. "Take pictures. Wait, it's going to be on TV."  
  
"Yes it will be," Jeff said proudly.  
  
"Is Vince okay with this idea of yours?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Fuck Vince," Jeff sighed. "And how did you know it was my idea?"  
  
"Because Trish is a normal person," Kurt answered.  
  
"Thanks a lot," Jeff said.  
  
"I have a feeling that you would be miserable if you were normal Jeff," Kurt said. "And we like your strangeness."  
  
"That's nice," Jeff said. "I've got to go if I'm going to make it to the arena."  
  
"Alright," Kurt said. "Talk to you later."  
  
Kurt hung up the phone and headed into the living room where Lita was sitting on the couch with Cameron in her lap. Cameron turned his head toward Kurt as he walked into the living room and grinned.   
  
"He looks too cute," Kurt said. Cameron was dressed up as a little pumpkin, with a little lid on his head and everything. His curly brown hair peeked out from underneath the cap.  
  
"I know," Lita said happily. "His grandpa is taking him trick-or-treating and he's going to go ahead and keep him for a few hours."  
  
"Then I guess I had better take pictures of him now," Kurt said. He went to the hall and grabbed the digital camera that they kept ready at all times.  
  
"Hey Cameron," Kurt called as he walked back into the living room with the camera. Cameron looked at him and smiled. Kurt quickly snapped a picture.  
  
"Hold him up to you Lita," Kurt said. Lita obliged him and Kurt snapped another picture.  
  
"Here, let me take a picture of you two," Lita said, handing Cameron to Kurt. She picked up the camera and took two pictures of Kurt and Cameron.   
  
There was a knock on the door. "That must be Grandpa!" Lita said to Cameron. She took him in her arms again and took him to the door.  
  
Kurt watched Lita and wondered if his feelings for her would ever soften and go away. It had been nearly a year since Matt had told him that he knew he was in love with Lita. And he had been, despite himself. He wished he could get over her, because he was in such close contact with her everyday. He was just waiting for the day he did something that scared her and made her uncomfortable around her.  
  
And he knew it was hopeless to think that he might fall out of love with her. He saw her everyday. And seeing her as a mother made him fall even more in love with her. He wanted the mother of his children to be just like her.  
  
Who was he kidding? He wanted the mother of his children to be her. He shook his head as he started picking up some of Cameron's toys that were strewn about the living room.  
  
"I'll do that Kurt," Lita said, coming back into the living room.  
  
"It's no big deal," Kurt said. "I think I was the one playing with him earlier anyways."  
  
"If you say so," Lita said.  
  
"So why didn't you go with them?" Kurt asked.  
  
"I figured Gil would like some time with Cam," Lita shrugged. "I could use a break."  
  
"Come here," Kurt said, patting the seat next to him on the couch. Lita walked over and plopped onto the couch next to him. He reached out his hands and massaged her shoulders.  
  
"That feels like magic," Lita said, leaning into his hands.  
  
"I'm glad," Kurt said.  
  
"Lets go out for dinner," Lita said. "I haven't been on a grown up dinner in...too long."  
  
"Since Matt?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Yeah," Lita said.  
  
"What sounds good?" Kurt asked.  
  
"There's this phenomenal steak house in the next town over," Lita said. "Lets go there."  
  
"Okay," Kurt said.  
  
*  
  
"Cam!" Lita said when Gil brought him home later that night. "Was he good?"  
  
"A perfect angel," Gil answered. He handed her a bag with some candy in the bottom. "I figure if Cam doesn't eat it, Jeff will."  
  
"Probably right," Lita said. "Thanks Gil."  
  
"Thank you," Gil replied. "You all have a good night."  
  
"You too," Lita said.  
  
Lita turned back and walked to the entertainment room. Kurt was lying on the floor watching a movie.  
  
"What is this?" Lita asked as she watched a bunch of guys run on the beach.  
  
"Chariots of Fire," Kurt replied.  
  
"Why are you watching it?" Lita asked.  
  
"I'm getting in the Olympic spirit," Kurt replied. "These guys went to the Olympics."  
  
"Okay," Lita said. She set Cameron down on the ground. He crawled over to Kurt.  
  
"Cameron, my man!" Kurt said, sitting up and picking up Cameron, he laid back down. He held Cameron up in the air and wiggled him. Cameron giggled happily.  
  
Several minutes later, Kurt set him back down. Cameron crawled over to the chair nearest to him and pulled himself to his feet. He took a tentative step away from the chair and he started walking unsteadily toward Kurt.  
  
Lita turned to check on him and exclaimed, "Kurt! Look!"  
  
Kurt turned to see Cameron walking. "Come on Cameron, you can make it."  
  
When Cameron reached him, Kurt seized him up and hugged him close. He gave Cameron to Lita and went to go grab a video camera in case Cam decided to try again.  
  
Lita and Kurt were sitting next to each other on the couch an hour later, still watching Cameron walk. "I can't believe he's walking!"  
  
"Me neither," Kurt marveled.  
  
"I'm so glad we were both her," Lita said. She leaned her head against Kurt's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around Lita's waist.  
  
"Me too," Kurt said.  
  
*  
  
Lita couldn't sleep that night. She has been glad to share Cameron's first steps with Kurt. She had realized that Kurt was the closest thing Cameron had to a father. And if all fathers were as involved in their sons lives as Kurt was in Cameron's, there would be many more close father-son relationships in the world than there actually were.  
  
But there was something else that was bothering her. She worried she was treating Kurt like he was the father of her child. She worried that she had made him feel responsible for Cameron, and by extension herself.  
  
Lita forced the thoughts from her head and pushed herself to a fitful sleep. 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Title: "Only Hope" (17/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: Hmm, is this a sad chapter? There is something sad that happens later on in the chapter but overall it is not sad. It's a lot of plot! Also, I use "Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight" by James Taylor (I don't own it though).  
  
*  
  
New Years Eve 2003  
  
*  
  
"He likes to be sung to before he goes to sleep," Lita said to Gil, thinking anxiously about her son as she talked to her father-in-law on the telephone in the hotel room she was sharing with Trish.  
  
"You told me before you left," Gil said patiently.  
  
"I know," Lita sighed. "He's probably handling this better than me."  
  
"Probably so," Gil said. "But I will take good care of them. Have a good time."  
  
"Alright," Lita said. "Thanks again Gil."  
  
"You really don't like being away from him do you?" Trish asked, a light smile on her lips as she watched her friend hang up the telephone.  
  
"I've never been away from him that long," Lita said.  
  
"He's only a year old," Trish said.  
  
"I know," Lita said.  
  
"Speaking of which," Trish said. "You don't look like a woman who had a child a year ago. I think you're in better shape than I am."  
  
"I've been working out with Kurt," Lita explained. "Getting ready to come back."  
  
"So you are coming back," Trish said.  
  
"Yeah," Lita said. "When I can get myself to believe it's okay to bring Cam on the road."  
  
"I see," Trish said. "Well, Vince should give Kurt money, because both of you have gotten into the best shape of your lives with him."  
  
"I know," Lita said. "So what are we doing?"  
  
"We are going to go to the Aladdin," Trish said. "They are having some kind of party there for New Years."  
  
"Do I need to dress up?" Lita asked.  
  
"Nice clothes would be a plus," Trish said.  
  
"Man," Lita groaned.  
  
"Oh calm down," Trish said, laughing at her friend.  
  
*  
  
"How are you doing?" Kurt asked Lita. They were sitting at the table alone. Jeff and Trish were dancing on the crowded dance floor.  
  
"I'm fine," Lita said. "I keep thinking about Cameron and hoping he doesn't miss me too much."  
  
"Me too," Kurt admitted.  
  
"Yeah?" Lita asked.  
  
"Oh yeah," Kurt said. "I didn't realize until today how much the little guy means to me."  
  
"I knew I loved him more than anyone could believe," Lita said. "But I didn't know I would constantly think about him when I couldn't see him."  
  
"Poor Lita," Kurt said. He looked at the dance floor and asked, "You want to dance?"  
  
"Sure," Lita said. "I didn't get all dressed up just to sit at the table."  
  
"You look great," Kurt said. She was wearing a strapless deep purple dress that clung to her torso tightly and fell gently from her waist.  
  
"Thanks," Lita said, not sure why she was blushing.  
  
Kurt stood up and offered her his arm. They walked slowly to the floor. Kurt pulled Lita into his arms and held her closely to him.  
  
"I don't remember the last time I danced," Lita said.  
  
"Your wedding," Kurt replied.  
  
Lita thought for a moment. "Yeah, that was it. How did you remember?"  
  
"I remember talking with Jeff and Trish about how wonderful you two looked together while you were dancing," Kurt said.  
  
"It doesn't hurt to remember anymore," Lita said. "It used to feel like a gigantic piece of me was missing every time I thought of Matt. Now it's just a kind of bittersweet ache."  
  
"That's a good thing, right?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Yeah," Lita said.  
  
"Then I'm glad," Kurt said.  
  
Kurt and Lita danced in silence for about a song before Jeff and Trish caught up with them. "Hey guys," Jeff said. "Trish and I are going to see if we can get an extra room for the night."  
  
"Don't be crazy," Lita said. "It's New Year's Eve."  
  
"But we..." Trish blushed as she realized what she was about to say about what she and Jeff wanted to do.  
  
"You guys go ahead and go back to our room," Lita said. "You don't mind if I bunk with you do you Kurt?"  
  
"Of course not," Kurt said.  
  
"Thanks you guys," Jeff said. "If I don't see you soon...Happy New Year."  
  
"You too," Lita said.  
  
"Night you guys," Kurt said to Jeff and Trish.  
  
Kurt and Lita started dancing again. "This feels nice," Lita said.  
  
"Yeah," Kurt agreed.  
  
Lita listened to the song playing as they danced. It made her realize exactly how lonely she had been over the past several months.   
  
// Do me wrong, do me right  
Tell me lies but hold me tight  
Save your goodbyes for the morning light  
But don't let me be lonely tonight. //  
  
"You know," Lita said, pulling out of Kurt's arms, "I'm kind of tired."  
  
"You want to go upstairs?" Kurt asked.  
  
"You don't mind?" Lita asked. "I mean we can wait for the countdown."  
  
"Nah," Kurt said. "It's another 30 minutes and you're the only person I know here."  
  
"Okay," Lita said.  
  
*  
  
"It's almost midnight," Kurt said to Lita as she looked out of their hotel room window onto the Vegas Strip.  
  
Lita got up and went to watch the Ball drop on TV. She stood next to Kurt. "5...4...3...2...1!" They counted together.  
  
They turned toward each other and hugged. When they pulled away Lita kissed Kurt. He jumped back in shock. "Lita!"  
  
"Oh God," Lita said, her voice horrified. "I thought you were attracted to me."  
  
"Of course I am," Kurt said. "How could I not be?"  
  
"Then why don't you want to kiss me?" Lita asked, tears brimming in her eyes. "Am I so undesirable, so-"  
  
Lita was cut off by Kurt's lips crushing against hers. She stood there shocked for a moment and then returned the kiss. She brought her arms up to wrap around Kurt's neck, her fingers tangling in his short hair.  
  
Kurt banded his arms around Lita's waist, pulling her closer to him. He poured the emotions he had felt every time he had looked at her over the past year into the kiss.  
  
"You better stop me now Leet or I may never stop," Kurt said, as he pulled his lips away from hers. But he continued to hold her in his arms.  
  
Her eyes shone as she looked up at him. "Don't stop Kurt."  
  
"What?" Kurt asked in shock.  
  
"Do whatever," Lita said. "Just don't stop."  
  
Kurt looked at her one more time, his blue eyes searching her brown eyes for any sign of hesitation.  
  
"Okay," Kurt said, his lips crushing onto hers again.  
  
// Do me wrong, do me right (right now baby),  
Go on and tell me lies but hold me tight.  
Save your goodbyes for the morning light (morning light),  
But don't let me be lonely tonight.  
I don't want to be lonely tonight.  
No, no, I don't want to be lonely tonight. // 


	20. Chapter Twenty

Title: "Only Hope" (20/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: It's the aftermath chapter...it's sad, but not THAT sad. Enjoy!  
  
*  
  
New Year's Day 2004  
  
*  
  
Kurt woke up when he reached over in the bed and hit empty spaces. He kept his eyes closed and listened for Jeff's snoring, thinking that maybe he had dreamt what happened with Lita.  
  
Instead he heard gentle humming. And it was definitely female. He opened his eyes to see Lita looking out of the window. She was wearing the blue button down shirt he had worn the night before. She was outlined by the sun streaming in through the window.  
  
It had happened. He had made love to Lita, the woman who had haunted his dreams for well over a year. He had never been in love before, but he knew now that what he felt for Lita was indeed love.  
  
"Hey," Kurt said, propping his head up on his elbow.  
  
Lita turned her head quickly to see Kurt looking at her. "Oh, hey," Lita said shakily.  
  
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, sitting up when he sad the almost mournful look on Lita's face. "What happened."  
  
"Kurt," Lita said softly.  
  
"What is it Red?" Kurt asked, wrapping the sheet around his waist as he walked toward Lita. He stood in front of her and looked her in the eyes.  
  
"We shouldn't have done that," Lita said brokenly.  
  
"What?" Kurt asked, feeling his heart shatter inside of his chest. He had never felt such intense pain before.  
  
"Don't make me say it again," Lita said.  
  
"Why?" Kurt asked. Lita looked into his blue eyes and saw the pain in them. Could it be that maybe it had been more than sex to him?  
  
"I'm not ready," Lita said, looking away from Kurt.  
  
"When will you be ready?" Kurt asked.   
  
"I don't know," Lita said, tears coming to her eyes. This was the last man on earth she ever wanted to hurt.  
  
"How can you do this Lita?" Kurt asked, his voice hoarse. "How can you tell me last night was wrong. Last night was amazing. I've never felt so alive in all of my life!"  
  
"Stop it!" Lita exclaimed.  
  
"I won't stop it," Kurt said. "I won't tell you that I can just pretend that last night never happened, because I'm glad last night happened! I've wanted it to happen for months!"  
  
"Kurt!" Lita exclaimed. She felt a nagging pain inside of her tell her that she had wanted Kurt for some time too, but she felt like she was betraying Matt's memory.  
  
"Or was last night nothing to you?" Kurt asked.  
  
"It's not that," Lita said. "I don't feel that way about you Kurt."  
  
"You sure fooled me last night," Kurt said.  
  
"Hey guys...whoa," Jeff said as he came to a full halt in the doorway.   
  
"Can you shut the door please Jeff?" Kurt asked, his voice betraying no emotion. Jeff complied as he shut the door behind himself.  
  
"So, did you guys enjoy yourselves last night?" Jeff asked, a smile on his lips. He had been waiting for Kurt and Lita to admit their feelings for each other for a while. They were so close, how could they help being attracted to each other.  
  
"Apparently not," Kurt said. "I'm going to take a shower."  
  
"Kurt!" Lita exclaimed.  
  
"What?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Nothing," Lita said, hanging her head in defeat.  
  
Kurt slammed the bathroom door behind himself. Jeff looked in stunned disbelief at Lita. "What the hell happened?"  
  
"I think you can guess what happened Jeff," Lita said.  
  
"I got the sleeping together thing," Jeff said. "I imagine Kurt was naked underneath that sheet. But why is he mad? And why are you crying?"  
  
"Because I hurt him," Lita said.  
  
"What the hell?" Jeff asked. He walked closer to the redhead and draped his arm around her shoulder. "What happened?"  
  
"I told him last night shouldn't have happened," Lita said, leaning her head on Jeff's shoulder.  
  
"Why?" Jeff asked. "You like him right?"  
  
"He's my best friend," Lita said. "He's practically Cam's father. I love him really. But I'm not in love with him. I'm still in love with your brother."  
  
"Lita," Jeff said softly. "Oh sweetie, he would want you to move on."  
  
"I know that," Lita said. "But I can't."  
  
"You can't?" Jeff asked. "Or you won't?"  
  
"Don't turn on me here," Lita said.  
  
"Don't you see that Kurt is in love with you Lita," Jeff said. "He cares more about you and Cam than he does about anything else."  
  
"But Matt hasn't been dead for even a year!" Lita exclaimed.  
  
"Is that what you're worried about?" Jeff asked. "Oh Lita, Matt wouldn't care about that."  
  
"But I do," Lita said. "I've got to go before Kurt gets out of the shower."  
  
"Don't leave him like that Lita," Jeff pleaded.  
  
"I've got to," Lita said.  
  
"But you don't have to," Jeff said.  
  
"Let it be Jeff," Lita said. "Just...let it be."  
  
*  
  
"Where's Kurt?" Lita asked, concerned when Kurt wasn't with Jeff at the airport terminal. "I thought he was coming with you."  
  
"He took an earlier flight," Jeff said.  
  
"Why?" Lita asked.  
  
"He didn't say," Jeff said. "But I think you have a pretty good idea."  
  
"That's just great!" Lita exclaimed. "Is he going to turn back into an asshole now? Is that going to be my punishment for sleeping with him?"  
  
"You slept with Kurt?" Trish asked.  
  
"You didn't tell her?" Lita asked Jeff.  
  
"It's not my story to tell," Jeff said.   
  
"Well, yeah, I slept with Kurt last night," Lita admitted.  
  
"It's about time," Trish said. She realized neither Jeff nor Lita had happy looks on their face. "What else happened."  
  
"Lita told him it was a mistake," Jeff said.  
  
"It was," Lita insisted.  
  
"Lets just hope you didn't chase him out of your life completely," Jeff said. "And you need to have a little more faith in him than to think he can change so quickly."  
  
*  
  
"What's going on?" Jeff asked Kurt as he pulled his car into the driveway. Kurt had to full suitcases in his hands.  
  
"I'm leaving," Kurt said. "I have to get away."  
  
"Kurt, don't," Jeff said.  
  
"She needs her space and I...I need to get focused," Kurt said, determination in his eyes.  
  
"How can I stop you?" Jeff asked.  
  
"You can't," Kurt said.  
  
"What about Cam?" Jeff said.  
  
"Don't do that!" Kurt exclaimed. "Don't you think I've thought about this long and hard? I spent a whole plane trip agonizing over it."  
  
"I'm sorry Kurt," Jeff said. "What are you going to do?"  
  
"I'm going to Florida to train with a wrestling coach," Kurt said. "And then I'm going to go to the Olympics and win the gold medal."  
  
"I always knew you would do that," Jeff said.  
  
"I know it now too," Kurt said.  
  
"Wha...what are you doing Kurt?" Lita asked, her eyes not believing what she was seeing.  
  
"I'm going to go train," Kurt said.  
  
"But you train here now," Lita said.  
  
"Not anymore," Kurt said. "I've got to go."  
  
"No!" Lita exclaimed. "Don't do this to me!"  
  
"I can't stay here and be your friend every day and deny that I'm in love with you anymore Lita!" Kurt said. "I can't do it!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"Don't say anything if you aren't in love with me Lita," Kurt said.  
  
Lita opened her mouth to speak. After a moment she closed it again. Kurt nodded his head as he went to get into his car. 


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

Title: "Only Hope" (21/?)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: I really can't tell you what to expect on this one, but I don't think it will make you sad. This is very different from what I originally planned to do, but I think it might be better this way. Enjoy!  
A/N part 2: This is a different use of a song than I've used in other chapters in the fic. The song is "Wasting My Time" by Default.   
  
  
September 2002  
  
*  
  
// I don't want to see you waiting  
I've already gone too far away //  
  
"He's big," Kurt said to himself. "But not that big."  
  
He stood alone. He had never gotten someone else to train him after he had left North Carolina. He had just started spending every waking hour, devoting himself to becoming the best.  
  
A month after he had left North Carolina he had gone to the Olympic trials. He had gotten the second spot on the freestyle wrestling team. Now he could easily beat the young man who had gotten the first place.  
  
Lita was back in the WWF. Kurt had been there to see her make her triumphant return in April. He watched every episode of SmackDown. Jeff sent him updates and videotapes of Cameron frequently.  
  
They had been his family. But now he wasn't a part of them anymore. Maybe he had just been fooling himself when he had fallen in love with Lita.   
  
// I still can't keep the day from ending   
No more messed up reasons for me to stay //  
  
Lita tapped her fingers nervously on the armrest in the taxi cab. She was afraid of being late. She didn't know why she was so anxious over being late. She hadn't seen him in nearly nine months. She knew he had come to see Cameron a couple times while he stayed with Jeff. She had left Cameron to Jeff when she didn't have to because she wanted to give him a chance to see him without being uncomfortable.  
  
She had told Jeff and Trish that she wasn't going to come. She and Cameron didn't need to go to Greece when they could watch him on television. But there she was in the backseat of a cab, Cameron at her side.  
  
She had called Jeff from the airport and he had miraculously gotten her passes to the matches. But, she was stuck in traffic and afraid that she was about to ruin another chance with Kurt.  
  
// Well this is not for real   
Afraid to feel I just hit the floor   
Don't ask for more   
I'm wasting my time   
I'm wasting my time //  
  
"Kurt!" Jeff exclaimed, coming down toward the front of the stands. Kurt looked up in surprise. He hadn't known Jeff was going to come.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, jogging over to talk to him. He had several free minutes before he had to wrestle. "I wish you had told me."  
  
"So you could talk us out of coming?" Jeff asked.  
  
"Us?" Kurt asked in shock.   
  
"Hey Kurt," Trish said, coming up from behind Jeff and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Good luck."  
  
"Thanks," Kurt said, grinning at his friends. He hadn't realized he had been holding his breath when Jeff said we until Trish had said hello. He shook his head to himself, not able to believe he could still think Lita would show up.  
  
// You can't stop the feeling   
There is no reason   
Just make the call   
And take it all again   
Oh again //  
  
Lita had been at his Olympic trials. No one had known, not even Jeff. She had tried to stay away, but she couldn't make herself. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had come to her return to the WWF.  
  
She wasn't supposed to know. Jeff didn't know about that either. Part of Lita wanted to believe that Kurt knew she was there in his heart.   
  
But she had been the one to deny that they had a special bond.   
  
// Months went by with us pretending   
When did our light turn from green to red //  
  
"Great job!" Jeff exclaimed when Kurt came out of the locker room after his first round victory. "That was great!"  
  
"Thanks," Kurt said.  
  
"Congratulations," a voice that he had almost learned to forget said. His head whipped around and his heart stopped for a moment.  
  
"Th-thanks," Kurt stammered. His heart suddenly started pounding a mile a minute. He felt his face turn beat red when he was unable to speak.   
  
"You're welcome," Lita said, smiling shyly at the man who had been her closest friend less than a year earlier. She felt a tug on her leg. She looked down and grinned. "You want to see Uncle Kurt?"  
  
Cameron nodded his head, his brown curls bobbing with his cherubic face.  
  
// I took a chance and left you standing   
Lost the will to do this once again //  
  
Lita smiled across the dinner table as Kurt talked to Cameron. Cameron had basically attached himself to Kurt from the moment the two had said hello.  
  
She missed this. She missed the loving, if unconventional, family they had built. She hadn't realized how important it had been to her until she had lost it all.  
  
But she couldn't take the chance that she would have to take the chance to make Kurt a part of her life again. She had taken the chance that she didn't need him and she would just have to live with her decision, even if it was the wrong one.  
  
// Well this is not for real   
Afraid to feel   
I just hit the floor   
Don't ask for more   
I'm wasting my time   
I'm wasting my time //  
  
"I can carry him," Lita offered as Kurt walked her back to her hotel room, a sleeping Cameron in his arms.  
  
"It's okay," Kurt said.  
  
"It's good to see you Kurt," Lita said. "I know I didn't say that earlier. But it is."  
  
"You too," Kurt said. He wanted to ask how she was doing. He wanted to find out if there was a way that he could erase those black circles underneath her eyes. She looked five years older than the last time he had seen her.  
  
"Well," Lita said, stopping in front of her room. "This is me."  
  
"Good night Lita," Kurt said. He walked away wishing she had never come or he had never left. He wasn't certain which, all he knew was that he hated how he felt as he walked away from her.  
  
// You can't stop the feeling   
There is no reason   
Just make the call   
And take it all   
I'm wasting my time  
I'm wasting my time again   
Oh again //  
  
Lita's eyes widened in something akin to horror as she watched Kurt ascend to the gold medal position of the podium. Realization had struck her like a thousand thunderbolts.  
  
She was in love with him.  
  
Distance and a short time together had done what nearly two years of living closely together couldn't do. She had fallen in love with the man who had left his job for her, the man who had helped her dying husband find joy in life, the man who had become the father her son needed.  
  
And she had lost him.  
  
// See you waiting   
Look so lonely   
See you waiting   
I see you waiting //  
  
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked, later that night. Jeff, Trish, and Lita had taken him out to celebrate his victory.  
  
"Nothing," Lita said.  
  
"Where's Cam?" Kurt asked in confusion. He had gone to the bathroom and when he came back, most of the party was gone.  
  
"Trish and Jeff took him," Lita said.  
  
"You looked sad when I came back," Kurt said. "So alone."  
  
"I've been alone for a long time Kurt," Lita said.  
  
"I know what you mean," Kurt said.  
  
"I think you do," Lita confirmed.  
  
// Well this is not for real   
Afraid to feel   
I just hit the floor   
Don't ask for more   
I'm wasting my time   
I'm wasting my time //  
  
"What?" Kurt asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under Lita's gaze.  
  
"I hurt you didn't I?" Lita asked.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it," Kurt said.  
  
"But I want to!" Lita exclaimed.  
  
"I don't care!" Kurt exclaimed. "I can't let you ruin this night for me Lita. I have no life now because of that morning and I don't want to think about that."  
  
"Get your life back," Lita said.  
  
"How?" Kurt asked.  
  
"With me," Lita said, tears forming her eyes.  
  
// You can't stop the feeling   
There is no reason   
Just make the call   
And take it all   
I'm wasting my time   
I'm wasting...oh again //  
  
Kurt walked away from the restaurant, feeling more pain than he ever had in all of his life. He knew Lita was probably crying and he hated that he had done that to her.  
  
But he couldn't put his heart on the line again with her. 


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

Title: "Only Hope" (22/23)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: This one won't make you cry...I hope. Enjoy.  
A/N2: I'm going to use lyrics from "Only Hope" there are two version of the song and I'm pretty sure Switchfoot sang the original and Mandy Moore covered it. But I could be completely wrong.   
  
October 2004  
  
*  
  
"Kurt!" Stephanie McMahon exclaimed as she saw her friend walking down the hall of the arena that SmackDown was at.  
  
Kurt turned and smiled at Stephanie. "Hey Steph."  
  
Stephanie's heeled boots clicked almost musically against the cement floor as she walked quickly towards him. She enveloped him in a bear hug. "Congratulations on your newest gold medal. I was watching."  
  
"I got your e-mail," Kurt said, nodding. "How are you doing?"  
  
"I'm marvelous," Stephanie said, beaming up at Kurt. "You?"  
  
"Pretty good," Kurt said.  
  
"That didn't sound so enthusiastic," Stephanie said, slipping her hand through the crook of Kurt's arm as they walked down the hall together. "I'll walk you to your dressing room."  
  
"Okay," Kurt said. "Why are you marvelous?"  
  
"Can you keep a secret?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"Sure," Kurt said.  
  
"Chris proposed to me yesterday," Stephanie said. She pulled her necklace out from underneath the blouse she was wearing to reveal a diamond ring hanging on it.  
  
Kurt stopped and pulled her into a hug. "That's great news! Why is it a secret?"  
  
"We want to be able to tell our families before it's splashed all over," Stephanie said. "And I want it to be a quiet wedding."  
  
"That'll be a first," Kurt said.  
  
"Thanks," Stephanie said dryly.  
  
"Not a problem," Kurt replied. He pulled her in for another hug and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "I'm really happy for you."  
  
*  
  
// There's a song that's inside of my soul,  
It's the one that I've tried to write  
Over and over again //  
  
Lita's jaw went slack as she watched Kurt hug Stephanie, not once, but twice. Stephanie was laughing happily and beaming up at him. She felt jealous of Stephanie, jealous that she was in his arms.  
  
She turned away and headed toward her dressing room as she dashed a tear away from her eyes. A hand shot out and stopped her from continuing down the hall.  
  
"Why so sad Lita?" Chris Jericho asked his friend.  
  
"It's nothing," Lita said. "It's just...Kurt's back."  
  
"I thought you two were friends," Chris said, a confused look on his face.  
  
"We were," Lita said. "But I ruined it. I ruined everything."  
  
"What happened?" Jericho asked.  
  
"He was in love with me," Lita said. "And I, stupid fool that I am, didn't realize that I was in love with him too until it was too late."  
  
"You can still win him Lita," Chris said comfortingly.  
  
"I tried," Lita said. "And he seems pretty happy hugging Stephanie."  
  
A skeptical look crossed Jericho's face. "Stephanie? My Stephanie?"  
  
"Oh my God," Lita said, a horrified look crossing her face. "Maybe they were...they just looked so happy."  
  
"Stephanie was probably telling him the good news," Chris said, cracking a smile. "She and I are getting married."  
  
"Oh wow," Lita said, a grin crossing her face. "Congratulations!"  
  
"Thanks," Chris said, accepting a hug from her. "Just don't tell anyone."  
  
*  
  
// So I lay my head back down  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours,  
I pray to be only your.  
I know now you're my only hope //  
  
Kurt grabbed a towel off the chair in his dressing room and wiped the sweat off of his face and arms. His first match back, he thought, had gone pretty well. He grinned to himself, he and Jericho had battled pretty well.  
  
"Hey Kurt," a voice whispered from the corner of the room. He stiffened instinctually, knowing who was in his dressing room.  
  
He turned slowly, giving himself time to train his features into a mask without emotions. "Hello Lita," he said, no inflection on his voice.  
  
"How are you doing?" she asked. Kurt was surprised to hear the sadness in her voice.  
  
"I'm okay," Kurt answered.  
  
"That's good," Lita said. "I just wanted to see you I guess."  
  
"How are you?" Kurt asked, wincing at the concern that seeped into his tone regardless of the fact that he had hoped not to let her know that he hurt when he was close to her.  
  
"I'm okay," Lita said. "I miss you."  
  
"Lita," Kurt sighed.  
  
"No," Lita said firmly. "Hear me out. I have to let you know that I know that I hurt you that morning. And I'm sorry for that."  
  
"It's over," Kurt shrugged.  
  
"But it isn't," Lita said. "We both still hurt because of that morning."  
  
"Both?" Kurt asked.  
  
"I wasn't lying when I told you I was in love with you," Lita said. "I don't know if I was in love with you that night or if it just grew when I realized exactly how big a part of my life you had been. But I love you and I'm in love with you.  
  
"However, I know that I hurt you and I can't expect you to just run back to me when I say I'm ready. You showed me that. But I thought I would be honest with you. I don't want us ignoring this. We have to work together. And you're Cameron's godfather. I want you to be a part of his life. But I had to be straight with you and myself."  
  
"Why?" Kurt asked.  
  
"Why what?" Lita asked.  
  
"Why weren't you honest with yourself?" Kurt asked.  
  
"I don't know," Lita sighed. "I guess I was afraid of loving again. God, I loved Matt so much and I was terrified of having that ripped away from me. It's easy to shut yourself off from the possibility of love when shit like that goes down."  
  
"Thank you," Kurt said. "You gave me a lot to think about."  
  
Lita nodded as she turned for the door. "Lita?"  
  
She turned to look back at Kurt. "Yeah?"  
  
"I miss you too," Kurt said. Lita nodded as she left the room.  
  
*  
  
// When it feels like my dreams are so far  
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me  
Over again //  
  
Kurt sighed as he sat down on the bed of his hotel room. He tried desperately to think of anything but Lita. He had been able to do it for most of the proceeding month. But now he couldn't seem to do it.  
  
She really seemed to love him now. She really seem to care.  
  
And he was as in love with her as he had ever been. He laughed mirthlessly as he thought that absence truly did make the heart grow fonder.  
  
"Damn me," Kurt said, laying down and looking up at the ceiling.  
  
And suddenly he could see his future in front of him. He and Lita together, raising their children in a nice house in a good neighborhood. He could see himself loving Lita for the rest of his life.  
  
That morning that she had broken his heart didn't seem to matter anymore. All that mattered was that Lita was in love with him and she had cared enough to put herself out there for him twice.  
  
He quickly sat up and grabbed his jacket as he left his room.  
  
// I give you my destiny  
I'm giving you all of me  
I want your symphony  
Singing with all that I am  
At the top of my lungs  
I'm giving it back //  
  
Lita opened her door when she heard the rapid knock on her door. She opened it to see Kurt standing at her door.  
  
"Is Cameron here?" Kurt asked.  
  
"No," Lita said, "He's with his grandfather."  
  
"Good," Kurt said as he crushed his mouth against Lita's. She clung to him as she kissed him back desperately.  
  
"Tell me I'm awake," Lita said after she pulled away from the kiss.  
  
"You're wide awake," Kurt said. He kissed along her jaw. "I love you so much Lita."  
  
"I'm so glad," Lita said, hugging Kurt tightly. "I love you."  
  
"I think we can build a future on that," Kurt said.  
  
"Sounds like a plan," Lita said, kissing him again. 


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

Title: "Only Hope" (23/23)  
Author: twstofate aka Hayden  
e-mail: twstofate@hotmail.com  
Category: WWF long-fic  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the WWF  
Distribution: Please ask first  
Rating: PG-13, deals with death and relationships  
Spoilers: RAW 2/18/2002  
Summary: Tragedy befalls Matt and Team Xtreme and Lita finds comfort in someone unexpected.  
A/N: It's a happy happy chapter! Enjoy!  
  
*  
  
August 2005  
  
*  
  
"Do you take this man to be your husband?"  
  
"I do," a sweet voice answered.  
  
"Do you take this woman to be your wife?"   
  
"I do," a soft, sincere voice said.  
  
"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the preacher said to the pair. "You may kiss the bride."  
  
"Oh I plan to," Jeff said, before he pulled his bride Trish in for a soft kiss.  
  
The guests all applauded when their kiss ended. Jeff and Trish left the church to the strains of the Wedding March. Trish's matron-of-honor, Lita, and Jeff's best man, Kurt, followed behind the couple. Cameron followed behind with the pillow that had once held rings.  
  
Lita and Kurt watched Jeff twirl Trish around happily in the foyer of the church. Lita leaned against Kurt, her hand in the crook of his arm. Cameron came to stand in front of the pair. Kurt reached down and touseled his curly brown hair.  
  
"Time to party!" Jeff exclaimed, setting down Trish. He walked over and picked up his nephew. "Ready to party Cam?"  
  
"Yeah!" Cameron exclaimed.  
  
*  
  
"So, old married woman to old married woman," Stephanie said, sidling up to Lita as both Chris and Kurt were occupied in a discussion of some sport. "Do you remember glowing like that?"  
  
"I don't know about you, I mean you have been married a whole three months," Lita said. "But I'm still glowing like that."  
  
Stephanie surveyed the woman who had become a friend to her. "You're right. I guess it has only been a month."  
  
"Yes," Lita nodded. She watched Cameron tug on Kurt's pant leg and hold his arms out to him. Kurt grinned and hoisted Cameron up so he could talk with Chris also.  
  
"Kurt still glows too," Stephanie said. "I'm so happy for you two."  
  
"Thank you," Lita said. "We're happy for you and Chris too."  
  
"How did you like eloping?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"It was nice," Lita said. "Having just Kurt, Cam, Jeff, and Trish there was great. And the island was beautiful."  
  
"That's good," Stephanie said. "Can I ask you a question?"  
  
"Of course," Lita said.  
  
"Do you love Kurt more than you loved Matt?" Stephanie asked.  
  
Lita stilled for a moment while she thought. "Not more. Probably the same amount in different ways."  
  
"What do you mean?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"Matt was like a fireworks show," Lita said. "He was sparkling and beautiful and exciting. I didn't dare look away because I was afraid I would miss the finale."  
  
"So what's Kurt like?" Stephanie asked.  
  
"Kurt's like that one song that you never get sick of," Lita said. "The song that you always turn up and sing to at the top of your lungs. He's wonderful and solid and...he's just perfect."  
  
"I'm sure he feels the same about you," Stephanie said.  
  
"I don't know," Lita said. "I think maybe I'm the fireworks show for him."  
  
"Maybe so," Stephanie said. "Why don't we go drag our husbands to the dance floor."  
  
"Sounds like a plan," Lita said.  
  
"Kurt?" Cameron asked as Lita and Stephanie walked over to the small group.  
  
"Yeah Cam?" Kurt asked, looking into Cameron's deep brown eyes that were a carbon copy of Matt's.  
  
"All of my friends have daddies," Cameron said. "Can you be my daddy."  
  
Lita saw the leap of joy that crossed Kurt's face. She knew Kurt loved Cameron like he was indeed his own son and he would give his life for him. Kurt looked over at Lita, as if he sensed she was next to him. "Only if your Mom says it's okay."  
  
"Of course it's okay," Lita said. She smiled at the look of gratitude that Kurt gave her. He hugged Cameron closely to him.  
  
"Why aren't any of you dancing?" Jeff asked as he came over to the group.  
  
"We were afraid of being on the floor with you," Chris said.  
  
"Funny," Jeff said dryly.  
  
"You and Trish look perfect together," Stephanie said to Jeff.  
  
Jeff smiled as he looked across the room at Trish laughing with Torrie Wilson. "Thank you Stephanie. That means a lot."  
  
Lita again leaned against Kurt, completely happy.  
  
*  
  
"You sure you don't mind Cameron calling me Dad?" Kurt asked later that night as they got into their bed.  
  
"Why would I mind?" Lita asked. "You are his father really. Matt will always be a part of his life in someway, but you are the man who is raising him."  
  
"I love him," Kurt said softly.  
  
"I know," Lita said. "And I think Matt knew that you would. He gave you to Cameron and I so we would be sure to keep living."  
  
"I never thought about it like that before," Kurt said.  
  
"I have many, many times," Lita said. "I love you Kurt."  
  
"I love you too Lita," Kurt said, kissing her softly on the lips.  
  
*  
  
The End  
  
*   
  
Final A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed this fic. You all really helped me complete this fic and many of you helped to mold it into the story it became. I hope you all enjoyed it! 


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